Page 21 of Thaddeus

“Fuck you for thinking that. Fuck you double for saying it. I don’t care who you think I am. I know who I am. And I would never hurt those women. I’d sooner die than let harm come to them.”

“Coulda fooled me.”

“That’s because I’m good at what I do.”

“And what is it you do, Emerson?”

“I pretend. I play the part. Every goddamn day, I act. Over the years, I’ve perfected it, I’ve had to. It was either I learned to be a really good actress or I was dead.”

“Yeah, you’re a good actress all right. So good in fact, you played me well and good. Your performance then was Academy Award-worthy. Since then you say you’ve perfected your skills. So, you’ll understand why I’m not buying your, I want to save the girls routine.”

My eyes drifted close and I did something incredibly stupid.

“I didn’t play you, Thaddeus. I know you’ll never believe me, but I loved you. Everything I told you, everything I felt was real. I didn’t leave because I wanted to,” I whispered.

“Yeah, no. I fell for that shit once. And I’ll admit it, I bought it all. But you have to know, you’ll never play me again. I’m immune to your lies, so you’re right, I’ll never believe you. Not about our history and most especially not about your intentions with those girls. You can take your whispered words and bullshit about loving me and shove it up your ass.”

I deserved that.

This one time I’d take his anger and not beg him to forgive me. I wouldn’t embarrass myself or him by trying to convince him what we had was true and good. Even if I knew it was. Thad Bench was the best thing that ever happened to me but I wasn’t that to him. There’d been a time when all was right in the world and I had been.

Then everything turned to shit. And now I was nothing but a bad memory and a mistake he wished he could erase. And I wished he could. Knowing what I knew now, I wish I could turn back the hands of time and go back to the day I’d met him. The day he’d asked me if I was alright and picked me up after I’ll fallen on my ass trying to learn to rollerblade. I wouldn’t take his hand and allow him to help me up. I wouldn’t agree to let him carry me to a bench and tend to my bruised ego and scratched hands. If I’d known then what I know now, how quickly life could turn into a nightmare, I would’ve told him to bug off. I would’ve saved him from me.

But I couldn’t have known. So I’d let him help me. Then we’d sat and talked. Then I agreed to go to dinner with him. Then during that dinner, I’d fallen in love. And that love had proven to be the kind that would last a lifetime. At least for me it was. Even if now he was being a dick and had called me filth and a liar. That love was still so deeply rooted in my soul I knew it would always be there.

And somewhere deep down inside of me, I knew Thaddeus would understand why I left if I told him. It would take time, but he’d get it. Even if he couldn’t forgive me, he’d appreciate that I walked away to protect him.

It was the right thing to do.

The only choice.

Guilt slammed into me as I remembered why I had to make that choice.

I’d done the right thing.

Thad

Emerson’s body had jerked with each word I said.

Once again, she looked like I’d physically hurt her. That’s what I wanted, right? I wanted her to suffer for everything she’d put me through. I wanted her to know that even though at one time I’d loved her, I was over her. That she was meaningless to me.

Then why did it bother me so much seeing her in pain?

“Do you know where the girls are?” Brooks asked Emerson.

“I know where he kept them the last time. I’d assume they’ll be in the same place this time.”

“And where’s that?” Max asked.

Stubbornness took over Emerson’s features and she shook her head.

“I think she should go with us to—”

“Hell no.” I cut Brooks off.

“Well, friend, she ain’t staying here alone with my wife. Not even gagged and tied to a bed. We don’t know who she is, why she was with Garcia, and who could be after her now. So unless you’re volunteering to stay behind and babysit her, she’s coming with us. And considering the fact she knows where they are and will save us time—something that’s in short supply—she’s coming.”

“I already told you—”