Page 83 of Jonas

“What’s happening?”

“We need to get to the big house⁠—”

“Now?”

“No, ten minutes ago.”

I snatched my phone off the coffee table, and without looking back, opened the front door.

“I don’t know what just happened or why you shut down,” she said to my back. “I also don’t know what I’m supposed to do. I heard what you said about fucking up, and just to point out, you running for the door without explaining to me what’s going on is fucking up. But you’re right, we need to get to the big house.”

I clenched my teeth and stepped out onto the porch. My feet hit the gravel walkway when I heard the door close and Derrika’s boots stomp down the stairs.

“The last thing I’m gonna say is, everyone fucks up. Not just people like me and you. No one’s perfect, Jonas.” I felt the muscle in my jaw jump. “But those fuck-ups don’t get unfucked unless you communicate.”

“You hesitated,” I said without breaking stride. “I thought you were going to…”

Jesus fuck, this was going to be harder than I thought. Opening up about the past was the easy part. Opening up about who I was, was not as difficult as I thought it would be—or not difficult because Derrika had paved the way.

Admitting I was a fucking coward, yeah, that shit wasn’t easy.

“Thought I was going to what?”

“Reject me.”

I felt her approach, so I wasn’t surprised when she wrapped a hand around my bicep, yet I still stiffened.

“I get that,” she whispered. “I wasn’t hesitating. I was thinking about what you said and the best way to respond.”

Stopping abruptly, I hauled Derrika in front of me. Her hands went to my chest to break her fall, my arms went around her, and I held her close.

Now for the hardest part.

“I lied to you,” I admitted. “It was unintentional but a lie all the same. I told you I had a lock on my damage and I hope to God as this goes on, that doesn’t prove to be false. What I didn’t think about is my response to that damage. That I need to work on it, and I will.”

Derrika’s eyes widened before they softened and her forehead dropped to my chest.

I gave her that, then gave her more honesty.

“Sucks, Dee Dee, but I’m gonna have to ask for your help with that.”

Derrika lifted her head. Her eyes snapped straight to mine. She didn’t need to say anything, her eyes communicated she was all-in to do whatever I needed her to do. Therefore, even though it took a great deal out of me not to take her mouth to show her how much that look meant to me, I held her gaze and savored the burn.

“Thanks, baby.”

“Don’t thank me, Jonas, I’m not as adjusted as you are. I have a feeling I’m gonna need more patience from you than you’ll need from me.”

I didn’t believe that for a second. The woman was so well-adjusted it was fucking with my head.

I didn’t tell her that.

Instead, I wondered why the fuck I was fighting kissing her when I was free to do just that. So, I stopped fighting it, uncaring my team was about to get another show, and I didn’t stop until she whimpered into my mouth.

CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO

“Enjoy your swim?” Kira asked without looking up from her laptop.

Damn cameras!