Page 94 of The Penalty

I reach up and wrap my arms around his neck in a hug. He hugs me back and holds me tight. I’d almost forgotten how good it felt to be in his arms. I quickly kiss his cheek before stepping back and walking away.

I can’t figure out if walking away is the best or worst decision I’ve ever made.

Instead of going back to my apartment to get ready for dinner like I’d planned, I drive straight to my mom’s hotel. I need someone to talk to who will see things from all sides.

When I knock on her door and she opens it to let me in, the tears start falling.

“Tell me what’s going on, honey.”

We sit down on her bed and I go through everything Tyler said to me. How he wants to try this for real and how Kylie wants him to be happy.

“Isn’t that what you want?” she asks when I’ve finished my recap.

“I don’t know. What if we end up right back where we were? I don’t think I can handle going through this again.”

“You, my dear, can handle anything. You are one of the strongest people I know, and I’m so proud that you’re my daughter. You know, better than anyone, that you don’t need a man to be happy. But if you want him in your life, you can’t think about the what-ifs.”

“I don’t want to hurt Kylie any more than I already have, either. And I know the boys will be pissed.”

She sighs. “Did I ever tell you how your dad and I got together?”

I wrack my brain trying to remember if I’ve heard this story, but I come up empty. “I don’t think so.”

“He was engaged. I was the other woman.”

I gasp. “Mom!”

“I know. I know. I’m not proud of that. Both of our families were disappointed. Rumors spread around our little town. It was not a good time. After he ended his engagement, we decided to take some time apart and make sure our relationship was something we both wanted.

“Almost six months later, we ended up in the same place at the same time and realized we wanted to be together. The rest is history. We married and had five beautiful children. I don’t regret my decision one bit, even though I was certainly judged by people I grew up with. Your grandmother didn’t talk to us for almost two years. It wasn’t until after Chris was born that we all came together and moved past everything that happened.

“And in the end, who cares what other people think of you? I know you want to make sure Kylie is ok, and I love that you have such a big heart. But it’s ok to be selfish every once in a while. It sounds like Coach Danvers is willing to take the risk. If you want him in your life, you might have to run the chance of hurting someone else’s feelings.

“It’s a tough decision but one you need to make.”

I swallow down all the emotions running through me right now and wipe a tear from my cheek. “I can’t believe I didn’t know this story.”

“Because that part of our story didn’t define our relationship. Your father and I were meant to be. We knew that, and we weren’t willing to risk our happiness just because some other people were upset.”

I take in what she said, but there’s still something weighing on me. “Do you think Dad would be disappointed in me?”

She shakes her head. “Not at all. You were everything to him, McKenzie. Now, do I think he would be happy about the age difference between you and Coach Danvers? Probably not. But I think he’d eventually get over it if he saw that you were happy.”

I don’t think I realized how badly I wanted to hear that. I miss my father so much. Most days, I try not to think about it because it makes my heart hurt so much. But lately, he’s been popping up in my head and my dreams more than usual. He was always my biggest cheerleader, and I wish I had him here so he could tell me that I was going to be ok.

But I suppose my mom knew him better than anyone. If she thinks he’d be happy for me, then that’s what I need to believe.

“Are you happy?” Mom asks.

“No. But I think I will be.”

She smiles and rubs my back. “Good.”

Later that evening, just for the hell of it, I try to call Kylie again. My calls and texts have gone unanswered for months, but I know I need to try one last time.

To my surprise, she answers. “Hello?”

“You answered,” I say dumbly.