Page 92 of The Penalty

“I. . . I’m so sorry about everything, Kylie.” I don’t know what else to say. I don’t have the right words to explain how sorry I am for hurting her.

“I know. I’ve talked to Dad a few times about it now. I believe that you two didn’t mean to hurt me. But just because you didn’t mean to, doesn’t mean you didn’t. . .”

“That was the very last thing we wanted to happen.”

She nods and then pauses for a second before asking, “Do you love him?”

I swallow my surprise and answer truthfully. “So much.”

She nods again. “I still can’t really wrap my head around everything that happened. And I’m definitely not ok with it. But maybe. . .” She sighs. “Maybe give it time. This is all too weird, but I don’t want the two of you to be miserable because of me.”

My eyebrows raise. “Are you saying—”

“I’m not saying anything other than I need time,” she interjects quickly. She doesn’t want to say she might be ok with her dad and I dating, and I get that.

I nod. “Right. Yeah, ok.”

She looks around the hallway to make sure no one is listening to our conversation. “I know he loves you, and I know he’s hurting right now. But I’m also hurting. Everything feels so messed up.”

“Yeah. I understand.”

“If it’s any consolation, he still sleeps in your room at the house. He thinks I don’t know.”

My heart aches for him. To hold him one last time. To kiss him and make all the pain go away. But I can’t do that, so I blink away the tears threatening to drop.

“Do you think we’ll ever be friends again?” I ask.

She shrugs. “I don’t know.”

“I’ll take that over a straight no.” I give her a small smile, and she gives me one back.

“I gotta go.”

“Yeah. Of course.” I step to the side and let her pass.

That was one of the most confusing conversations I think I’ve ever had, but it leaves me with more hope than I’ve had in the last two weeks.

Hope might be the thing that finally breaks me, though.

THIRTY-EIGHT

MCKENZIE

Two months later

It’s officially time to put the last four years behind me. I’ve worked my ass off at La Vista University to get to this point, and none of it was easy. Between shifts at Alessandro’s and late night and early morning studying, nights spent sleeping in my car and sneaking around to shower and finally losing my father and getting my heart broken. I feel like I’ve gone through enough chaos for a lifetime.

I sit impatiently in the crowd, waiting for my name to be called so I can walk across the stage. I almost opted out of walking, but my mom and brothers insisted that I do it. Since all of them bought tickets and are currently sitting in the crowd, I felt like I didn’t have much of a choice. Plus, I’m proud of myself. I deserve this.

My row finally stands, and we make our way to the stage. My name is called, and I take a deep breath before I walk across the stage to accept my diploma. My family cheers loudly for me as I shake the dean’s hand.

I blink back tears, and I know they’re a mixture of happy and sad tears. I’m happy that I made it this far. I’m sad because I wish my dad could be here to see it. I know he’d be cheering the loudest for me.

I don’t look into the crowd. My heart can’t handle not seeing Dad there.

So, I take my seat again and watch the rest of my class graduate.

When the ceremony is over, I wade through the crowd until I find my family. My mom is crying, of course. All of my brothers take turns hugging me and telling me how proud they are of me. I always forget what an incredible support system I have. Since I’ve been on my own in college, I’ve felt like it was me against the world. But every time I’m back with my family, I remember how much I’m loved. I certainly need that reminder right now.