Page 66 of The Penalty

“Football.”

“Football is a big part of my life,” I explain.

“I know, Dad. It’s just all you talk about sometimes.” I’m pretty sure Shae said the exact same thing to me on multiple occasions. Football is my life. It’s my job and my hobby. Of course I’m going to talk about it. I was proud of myself as a player, and I’m just as proud of my team as a coach.

“Well, football pays for you to live the life you do.” It comes out a little more harsh than I intended it to, but I’m getting fed up with them acting like what I do isn’t important. I bought Shae a house even after we’d broken up because she had Kylie to take care of. I sent an exorbitant amount of money, more than what I was required to pay, in child support. Kylie’s had the best childhood because football paid for it. I think she and her mother forget that sometimes.

“Sorry,” Kylie says quietly.

“I didn’t mean to snap at you. Football is something I enjoy, and I’d like to be able to share that with you. I’m not asking you to become a super fan or anything.”

“You’re right. I’m sorry. I usually don’t mind it. It’s fun watching you and McKenzie talk about it. I think it’s just from being around Mom again. You know how she is.” Yeah, I know all too well about how she is.

“It’s all good, Ky.” Part of me wants to tell Kylie that her mother’s attitude toward things I enjoyed is one of the reasons we didn’t last. She constantly put me down or made me feel like what I wanted wasn’t valid. And I’ve always respected Shae. I can never repay her for having my daughter. But just because she carried my child doesn’t mean that I’m no longer allowed to live my life. It took me years to figure that out for myself. I thought staying with her would be the best for our little family, but I was miserable, which in turn made her more miserable.

Kylie will never know those details, though, at least from my point of view. While her mom seems to have no problem talking shit about me to our daughter, I would never do that.

“So, I was thinking chicken and rice for dinner,” I say, changing the subject. “You good with that?”

“Yeah, sounds good. And I have some homework I need to work on tonight.”

Later that evening, after we’ve eaten and I’ve cleaned the kitchen, Kylie is sitting on the couch with her laptop and a textbook. I can’t stop staring at the clock on the wall. It’s not even seven o’clock, and I’m already itching to see McKenzie. But she’s got another three hours before her shift is over. I hate that she has to work doubles on the weekend, but she admitted to me this morning that she asked her boss to do that since she can’t work as many shifts during the week. I wish she’d let me help her out with money, but I know by now that she’d be offended if I even offered.

The minute hand ticks by again.

“Hey, Ky. I need to run out and grab a few things for the team tomorrow.” The lie falls so easily out of my mouth, but I know she won’t even question it. “Do you need anything?”

“Actually, yeah. I think we’re out of hot chocolate. Can you pick up a box?”

“Yeah. Absolutely. I’ll be back in a few.”

“Thanks, Dad.

Once I’m in my truck, I don’t have to think twice before I know where I’m going. Parking in front of Alessandro’s, I only hesitate for a second before I go inside and find a seat at the bar. I look around for McKenzie, and when I finally see her, my hands start to sweat. I know this was a bad idea, but I couldn’t stop myself. Anyone could see me here. Of course no one knows what I’m truly doing here. It just looks like I’m sitting here having a drink.

I’m nervous, but I’m here now, so I have to follow through.

As if the universe wants to punish me, a restaurant patron recognizes me and says, “Go Bobcats!”

I raise my hand in an awkward sort of wave. The man’s outburst put a bunch of unwanted attention on me, but it also got McKenzie to look over. Her eyes go wide when she sees me.

She delivers food to a table and walks toward me.

“What are you doing here?” she asks when she’s close enough that no one would hear her.

“I wanted to see you.”

“Is everything ok?”

“Yeah, yeah,” I say quickly. I didn’t even think that she might think something was wrong. “Everything is all good. I just missed you.” I feel a little pathetic that I came all the way down here just to tell her that I missed her. How did I get so wrapped up in her so quickly?

Her face softens. “I missed you, too.”

“Kylie’s home,” I tell her.

“Yeah?”

“Yeah.”