Page 91 of This Changes Everything

“You also meant it when you said you didn’t want to,” Rory gently reminded me. “I would never have forgiven myself, you would never have forgiven yourself, and you would never have forgiven me. I wanted you to build this great big crazy life with lots of love and a great career.” Rory lifted his hand and rested it on top of mine. “Like you’ve always wanted.”

I controlled my impulse to break down into tears. “It’s been hard . . .”

Rory brushed the tips of his fingers along the back of my hand. “Do you want to talk about that?”

I shook my head. “No . . .” I cleared my throat and concentrated on hearing Rory’s steady heartbeat through his chest. “How were you going to propose?” Maybe I shouldn’t have asked, but I couldn’t have stopped myself if I tried.

A sharp breath blew out of Rory’s nose. “I had no plan in New York. We were twenty-one. I was going in blind and terrified. But I used to think about it a lot in Vancouver when we were younger. I liked the idea of me saying, ‘Do you wanna watch a movie?’ We would argue about which one, like we used to. I would give in and say, ‘Well, if we can’t decide, why don’t we just get married instead?’ I’d go from the couch to my knee.” Rory gently stroked my arm with his free hand. “It’s pretty juvenile and dumb, but I couldn’t get it out of my head. I don’t know.” He laughed and pinched the bridge of his nose, squeezing his eyes shut with mild embarrassment. “I couldn’t picture you liking this sweeping, grand, romantic proposal, so . . . yeah, that was it. I liked it. It felt like us. Inevitable.” I had stopped moving, and Rory stilled alongside me. “What? I said too much, or you would have hated it?”

“No, that’s . . . I would have liked that.” I struggled to speak. I would have really liked that, and I wondered what would have happened if he had done that all those years ago.

Rory resumed lightly stroking my arm. I wanted to smile, but I tried not to cry instead.

Chapter 34

LAS VEGAS 29 years old

AFTER ZOË’S OFFICIAL GIRLS-ONLY BIRTHDAY DINNER, RORY AND Orson met up with us to go dancing. Between Zoë and Rory, we were well connected, skipped the line, and felt like kings and queens with complimentary bottle service.

“I can’t believe you two went to prom together! That’s so cute!” Maddy squealed. It was the most she’d had to drink since before getting pregnant, and she was determined to celebrate.

Rory’s smile slipped, and before he could say anything, Zoë slapped Orson’s chest and said, “Aren’t Maddy’s tits incredible?”

I blinked rapidly and could see Rory’s face shift into a confused expression as well.

“I don’t know how to answer that question. Is that a question? Are you asking me that question?” Orson shook his head and stuffed his face into his cocktail.

“Don’t do it. Don’t fall into the trap,” Kara warned, poking her finger into Orson’s side. “You’ll never hear the end of it.” Her voice changed into an impersonation of Zoë. “Remember when you said Maddy’s tits were incredible? She had a baby and was married, you goddamn deviant. I want a divorce, Orson. You don’t deserve my tits anymore!” Kara widened her eyes and looked at Orson again, sending him another warning, and we all broke into laughter, including Zoë.

“Kara, you need to let your nursing career go. You should have been the actor,” I declared.

Maddy turned to Kara. “Didn’t you date Rory’s brother?”

“Whoa! Left field! Abort!” Kara shouted louder than necessary.

Rory shook his head while popping a bottle of champagne at the table. “Let’s not go there.”

Maddy then turned to Hannah, like she was taking each of us down one by one with a rapid-fire assault. “Hannah, didn’t you date the other brother?”

“What’s happening right now? I’m engaged, my friends.” Hannah fanned herself with her hand, blinding us all with her ring.

“Are you happy about that, though?” Maddy squinted at Hannah accusingly.

“Oh my god, Maddy. Try to control yourself, or you’ll be the new Kara, saying shit you shouldn’t be saying,” Hannah exclaimed, then tipped her chin to Rory for backup. “Right, Rore?”

“Oookay, Han, let’s not go there, either.” Rory poured the champagne and tried not to show anyone else the “yikes” expression he was giving me.

I chuckled softly, and Kara hip-checked me.

“Alright, I want to hear about the craziest thing that’s happened since Zoë and Hollywood left New York,” Orson declared, holding his drink out for Rory’s pour.

“I genuinely don’t even know where to start.” Zoë looked over to me.

“Wait! Pause. Happy birthday, Zoë. You’re an absolute knockout, smart, and funny, and I’m so happy to be getting to know you,” Rory cooed with a devastating smile, knocking us all down at the knees.

Where the hell did this guy come from?!

The Rory of my childhood would never have said something so effusive and suave. He was so comfortable in his skin that I thought back to Tessa at Topgolf and all those open legs, ready and willing.