Page 1 of Soldier Daddy’s Dutiful Little

CHAPTER ONE

Vanessa

It’s official, I now hate mornings.

Another bright, sunny morning dawned and I wondered why I felt so lethargic to go to work. Not because my job was annoying, no. In fact, I was being paid very nicely for doing next to nothing unlike my former job where I slaved like a pack horse. I tried to motivate myself to get out of bed and start getting ready for work. I had already even begun constructing the excuse I’d tender for my late coming.

My groggy eyes made contact with the red lines of my digital bedside clock. Sat. 8:21 am.

Oh. A Saturday. Saturdays were starting to become my least favorite day of the week; with Cheryl, my age-long best friend and roommate gone to Chicago for twenty-five days out of the thirty we have in a month, because of you know, work demands. This flat has been pretty much dreary since then.

That was barely the reason I, Vanessa Sanders, felt like crap. In these past weeks, I’ve experienced what it was like to feel cherished, wanted by a proper man, loved, ignored, hurt, pained, distraught.

These barely encapsulate how I’ve felt. Oscar Donahue was my ideal summer romance dream. He taught me to explore my child-like side, spun my head in a sensuous, whirlwind romance.

It has been three months since I last heard from Oscar. Three full months of painful loneliness, confusion, and anger. Three months since he disappeared, leaving only breakfast and two contradictory notes in his wake. Did I just say notes? A note and a letter.

How could I forget waking up to a sweet-smelling breakfast and a mind-numbing letter? Call me pathetic but I kept that letter right beside my clock, alongside the keys to his house. Hoping I’d fall asleep and wake up and realize it was all a dream or something.

Every morning, the words were as real as they were a night before. Cheryl warned me not to get my heart broken but I couldn’t but entrust my heart to a man who was juggling one too many things at once. Silly me. What did I expect? Sunshine, rainbows and never-ending cotton candy?

My eyes fell on the off-white paper which was heavily splotched with tears and creased from three months worth of daily folding and unfolding.

Dear Vanessa,

I know I wrote earlier that I was only gone shortly. That was not a lie. I went out for a run and thought a lot. No matter how I thought about it, I felt your waking hours should determine whether or not I’d tell you in person.

Having to talk about it is hard enough, but I have to write it since you’re asleep and I’d rather get my balls stomped on than wake you when you’re asleep. I love you Vanessa and there’s no mincing words about that. We’ve got something really special going on and the last thing I want is to do anything that could jeopardize that.

However, there’s still the issue of my discharge from the Marine that I’m working on and trying to sort out. It has been a chase down a rabbit hole ever since and I feared if I don’t get it on time, I’d be redeployed.

Well, my fears materialized and I’ve been sent on an assignment for a while. The mail of my next mission came while I was on the run and it was time-sensitive so I had to go. As to how long be away, I don’t know, but what I do is that, what we had was real. I don’t think I have loved anyone as much as I love you and I don’t know whether to ask you to wait for me because, there’s no assurance I’d be returning alive but I’d love to come back to meet you waiting for me.

While I’m gone, you may stay at mine’s for a bit if you want. The fridge is well stocked. You have access to my bedroom and the general areas of course, but I’m afraid the other rooms are off limits. This is just to keep you safe, sweetie, I hope you understand.

I'd remain your cute daddy, I promise. So far you remain my dearest little. I hope I’m not gone for too long though, I’m not sure I can stand being away from you for too long.

Yours,

Oscar D.

I was very confused when I saw this. He was explicit enough but somehow, I still couldn’t wrap my head around what was written in that note. I missed him terribly and there was no ignoring that. I had a good job, was comfortable but I was alone more than half the time and it was hard remembering that just a some twelve weeks ago I had him all to myself.

Was this what he was hiding? Is this why it felt like he was pulling away? I thought he didn’t want me or something but was it just the whole discharge thing that got him all harsh and touché all that time? What if it’s a dangerous mission? What if he doesn’t come back…alive?

I shook my head vehemently hoping that gut-wrenching thought would leave my head. I should really stop thinking along those lines…

I really don’t know, I sure didn’t have all the answers but I was sure of one thing. I love him and I wish I had more time to tell him in person.

I sighed, trying to blink back the tears that threatened to roll down my face and I knew once I let them, the showers were going to keep going on and on. I got out of bed, clutching my teddy bear that had absorbed so many of my late night tears.

I should call Cheryl. She always knows the right things to say.

She picked up on the third ring, her voice heavily laced with sleep, which was understandable, cause well, she isn’t and hasn’t ever been a morning person.

“Hello, love, how’re you holding up?”

I struggled to choke back a sniffle and tried to distract myself from the tears that plugged my throat and made it hard to talk or breathe.