Page 20 of I Still Love You (Citation Needed)

I found a quiet spot where I could think and work. I watched Mason move around the room. Sure, he managed his anxiety by creating back up plans, but it also made him great at anticipating needs and building relationships to solve problems. He had accused me, when we broke up, of staying with him because I needed him. I had been angry at the accusation, but I had thought he loved me because he assumed I needed him. Time and distance allowed me to see things differently. I could see how his strengths made it easy for him to help me, but I hoped that wasn’t why he had stayed with me.

Plenty of people needed Mason and we were a good couple because we took care of each other. It fell apart when we stopped listening to each other. He listened to Lois Fairfax, and I only listened to myself. I thought I knew better about what he needed. Lois convinced him that I would force him to live the life I wanted without any consideration of what he wanted. In the end, I proved Lois right, rather than staying to show Mason how wrong she was.

Even what Heather mentioned last night, about Lois thinking I would sabotage Mason’s chances of getting the WikiAcademia job, weren’t off base. He knew how much anger and spite could motivate me. If I had been on the search committee without coming to the conference this weekend, I might still be so rooted in my anger that I would have done just that. Mason never asked for anything in return for his help. He did it because he was generous and could see what was needed. That was exactly what the team at WikiAcademia needed in a new director.

I knew what I needed to do. I couldn’t force Mason to do anything, but I could show him how he belonged in this world, not stuck in academia. If others like Denise or Grace could convince him to submit his resume for the job, I could open opportunities to keep him connected to this work. He could present his session at WorldWikiMania in London this summer. I could ask the planning team to include him, using his help with this conference as my logic. I would join Cooper’s search committee in hopes that all of this would work and I could make sure Mason got the job. My anger and spite could motivate me to prove someone wrong, but helping people I cared about was a stronger drive for me.

Why do all of this for the man who broke my heart? Because I still loved him. I had the maturity to move past my anger and see how I had been wrong about what Mason had needed. All that was left was the deep love I had tried to bury when we broke up. Even if it was too late for us, he deserved a life he could enjoy. There might not be any hope to share a life with him, but if he wanted to be the world’s best teacher, then I was going to make sure he had the chance to do it.

Chapter Sixteen

Part Two

It was smart to get here a few days early,” Cooper said as we sat in the lobby of our hotel in London. “Every candidate is here and we’ve scheduled interviews with them.”

We were in London for the WorldWikiMania conference. Cooper had asked me to make time to interview the three finalists for the executive director job. After a long trip on the plane, I had taken some time to clean up. The airline had done everything possible to make the flight easier for me, and I had made sure to buy a business class ticket so I would feel prioritized. It could have been worse, but I always went directly to my hotel and rested once it was over.

“Have you heard that Heather’s going to be here?” I asked him as we watched the people coming in and leaving the hotel.

Cooper let out a deep sigh and rolled his eyes. “I’m not thrilled with her. I haven’t told anyone that they’ve been eliminated from the pool because I’m worried we may need to go back to look at other candidates.”

I gave him a half smile. “You want to tell her, don’t you?”

Cooper sat back on the couch and let out a deep sigh. “She’s so annoying. She keeps emailing me with new details to add to her resume. Yesterday, she called me to tell me she had decided to join Mason’s presentation. If she’s our last option, I’d rather re-open the search.”

I had heard various versions of this rant. Not only because Cooper had confided so much of his own experience, but because others were sharing the experience.

“Her name came up in a meeting we had about the conference,” I told him.

Cooper raised an eyebrow. “Oh?”

“I haven’t been worried about the team planning this conference because they’ve done it many times before, but when Mason was invited to be on the planning committee, Heather volunteered to join him. She hasn’t done anything yet.”

“Has Mason been helpful?” Cooper asked.

I nodded. “As helpful as he can be. From what I’ve been told, he’s been helpful with the scheduling.”

Cooper nodded. “Did you notice that Heather has a lot of committees and collaborations on her resume? I think she knows it looks good but doesn’t do anything once there.”

I nodded, thinking back to our first committee meeting. Heather’s resume had quickly been eliminated. She had highlighted a few EncycloWiki related projects, but all three of us knew she hadn’t been as involved as she made it out to be. She had listed her presentation with Mason, forgetting that two of us had been there and knew she had been too sick to attend the presentation.

“Does she not realize this is a small world where we talk to each other?” Cooper asked.

I agreed with him. I didn’t even have to hunt for gossip or ask people about her. I had been involved in many things she claimed to be involved with. All I had to do was go back and see that she had volunteered but never shown up or participated. The transparency of EncycloWiki made it easy to confirm how much she was stretching the truth.

“I hope this doesn’t sound too self-absorbed,” I told him in a low voice, “but I’m worried she’s trying to push her way into my circle.”

“She and Lois Fairfax came with Mason,” Cooper said, raising his eyebrows. “I looked at the schedule and they plan on being part of his presentation. I guess Lois wants to make sure nobody steals him away from Lacock State.”

That wasn’t news I had expected to hear. I had managed to get him invited to help plan the conference and speak at it, but I didn’t recall the invitation being extended to Heather and Lois. I had deliberately avoided getting involved, getting updates from my staff helping with the conference to remain informed. “I know there were concerns about him getting tenure. Shouldn’t that have been resolved already?”

Cooper shook his head. “Last I heard, Lois was going to force the university to give him tenure or give him another job.”

I shrugged. I had no idea when they told people they had tenure or not. I wasn’t sure if anyone in this world cared. Asking people would raise suspicion. Mason was already in the city. I had seen him sitting in the lobby bar working on his laptop when I arrived. He had been alone, and I felt my heart race when I noticed him. He didn’t see me, so I focused on getting to my room without catching his attention.

“Let’s have dinner tonight,” Cooper said as I got off the elevator. “I want to recap the three candidates we’re going to talk to tomorrow.”

We had one more day before the conference started to do the final interviews with these three candidates. I wasn’t thrilled with them, but I was trying not to compare them to Mason. He was the right person for this job, but nobody had been able to get him to resubmit his resume.