Page 9 of Granny’s Christmas Shifters

And is it too much to ask for a sex dream without a floor-to-ceiling Christmas tree and “Jingle Bells” playing on the speakers?

“You don’t think that’s why she passed out, do you?” the man we forgot to tell about the dress code asks.

It’s a shame he’s wearing so many clothes, though he does look quite handsome in red flannel. And what is it about men in jeans with bare feet that always gets my motor running?

“She wasn’t watching porn,” one of the naked men says, “in the forest,” his voice gets louder until he’s practically shouting, “in a snowstorm!”

His sun-kissed hair is pulled back in one of those gentleman donuts that’s popular with young people, but he makes it look good. His beard is neatly trimmed, his gray eyes meet mine, and his huge cock points straight at me.

I lick my lips. I like a cock that knows where it’s going.

Clothed-and-Handsome chuckles.

The other naked man, who’s built like a mountain, growls. His chest vibrates and his cock bounces slightly. Come to Gertie!

He’s got wide shoulders and a beard that would make a grizzly bear proud. I like the look of him. I like the look of all three of them. And I’m so busy ogling them, it takes far too long for their words to sink in.

I passed out. In the forest. In a snowstorm.

It all comes back to me, and I gasp. “I’m dead, aren’t I?”

I should probably be more upset that I won’t get to see Molly, my grandkids, or my dear friend, Edna, for a while. But I left enough in my will to last my family a lifetime, and this afterlife isn’t looking all that bad. The house is warm and cozy, and even though I’m not fully on board with the Christmas theme, it comes with delicious-looking men.

Still, I can’t help but sigh. “I really thought I was smarter than Harper.”

Clothed-and-Handsome frowns. “Who’s Harper?”

“She was going to be my main character. The one who walks into the forest against her better judgment. I had it all planned out, and it was going to be so good.” My shoulders slump. “I guess I won’t get to write it now. Unless you read books in heaven. Do you read books in heaven?”

The men exchange confused glances. Maybe they don’t have books after all.

They get to their feet, and my pulse quickens as they tower over me.

I turn to Clothed and Handsome. “Why aren’t you naked?”

He winks. “Do you want me to be?”

“I may be old, but I’m not dead. And if I’ve earned a heaven with hot men, I’m taking it. Say, are we going to have an orgy?”

“I like her.” Clothed-and-Handsome grins. He also doesn’t start stripping.

Bouncing Cock shakes his head. “An orgy involves drinking and indiscriminate sex.”

I like a man who’s equally into semantics. “Gangbang then. Or is that word only used in pornos?”

“I don’t watch pornos,” he tells me.

“Foursome?” I suggest.

He completely ignores my question. “When I want to fuck, I find myself a woman.”

Compass Cock shakes his head. “He doesn’t go into town. He hasn’t had a woman in centuries. Hell, he’s probably a virgin.”

Bouncing Cock scowls at him but doesn’t deny it.

“If you want to fuck, you can have me,” I tell him helpfully.

He doesn’t pounce on me and make me come, which is a huge letdown.