Page 14 of Airhead

In an instant, she was so not-relaxed that she wasn’t sure she’d ever relax again. Her cheeks flushed. Her brain was going a million miles an hour and stuck in neutral at the same time. Every single nerve in her body was alert and zeroed in on Frank. The man was a menace, an absolute, without a doubt, menace.

“Lucky you,” he continued, his low voice curling around her as sure as a touch. “I’m very good at helping people relax.”

It took everything she had to not give in to the promise he offered. She was an arctic iceberg, a Fudgie the Whale ice cream cake fresh out of the freezer, a toilet seat first thing in the morning in February. There was nothing in the world colder than she was.

“So I’ve heard,” she said, keeping her gaze locked on Spot, who was now lying on his back, tummy exposed, in hopes that the kids would storm the stage and start petting him. “Your reputation is all over the bathroom walls at Marinos.”

So she exaggerated. It wasn’t written so much as it was told, like a tall tale making its way from woman to woman throughout Waterbury. The story of the well-hung, redheaded firefighter who‘d made them feel things they’d only read about in their Candlelight Ecstasy books, was legendary. There was no way it was actually true. But that didn’t stop the belief that, if you wanted to get well laid, Frank Hartigan was the man willing and able to do it.

Frank winked and her heart fluttered—obviously against her will, or better sense.

“Just getting ready for you,” he said.

“Why, because I’m the one woman in Waterbury who doesn’t want you?” she asked, her voice breathier than she wanted it to be at that moment.

“No.” He winked at her. “Because you do.”

Katie would have responded if she could, but every thought in her head jerked to a stop. Luckily, she was saved from him realizing this by the principal, Mr. Cyrus, walking out on stage.

“Settle down children,” the principal said, ignoring Spot’s baleful glances. “We’re about to begin.”

“That’s my cue,” Frank said before turning on the mic that she’d been too distracted to notice he was holding. “Hello Joyce Kilmer Elementary. I’m Firefighter Frank Hartigan, Lieutenants Kazmer and Stanton are on stage, and the star of our show today is Spot, the station five dog.” The kids, who’d all turned in their chairs to see him at the back of the room, clapped and there were a few requests to go pet Spot before Frank continued. “We’re here to talk to you about something that could save your life. But before we start, we’re going to need a volunteer.”

Chaos erupted. The kids hollered and waved their hands in the air to be picked—no doubt hoping they were volunteering to hold Spot’s leash.

“The volunteer needs to have brownish red hair,” Frank said.

About three-fourths of the kids’ hands went down.

Katie side eyed him. What was he up to?

“And they need to be wearing blue,” he said.

More hands went down.

Glancing down at her baby blue blouse with a pussy bow, and matching loose, flared skirt that her mom had made from a McCall’s pattern, her stomach started to twist up.

He wouldn’t.

He couldn’t.

“And they need to be about…” he lifted his hand so it was level with the top of Katie’s head “this tall.”

He did. The total butthead did.

She closed her eyes and let out a sigh of resignation as the remaining kids whose hands were still up let them fall.

“I’ll get you back for this,” she muttered while the students chanted “Miss Mad-i-gan, Miss Mad-i-gan.”

He didn’t look the least bit worried that she’d have her revenge. “Agree to meet me after school so we can plan Fitz’s party, and I’ll let you off the hook.”

He held out his hand to shake on it. She didn’t notice how big his hand was, or how long his fingers were, or wonder, even for the shortest of seconds, whether it was a man’s hands or feet that equated the size of his cock. She didn’t want to know—not when it came to him. She could never find out and still die the happiest of women, in her icy fortress of solitude.

Anyway, she’d already said she’d plan the party with him. She’d have to meet with him eventually. Agreeing with him now just got her the added benefit of not having to make a fool of herself in front of the entire school.

“Fine. I agree,” she said with a sigh. “I’ll meet you at the station.”

She reached out and shook his hand. A sizzle of awareness skittered across her skin, like a warning of very good bad things ahead. She didn’t yank her hand away, but her move was sudden enough that there was no way he didn’t realize the effect he had on her.