Page 157 of Anton

But there’s nothing here except time and the rage eating through me.

Hours crawl by before the doctors return, taking in everyone gathered in the waiting room. Harlan shoots to his feet, his wife rising beside him with one palm pressed over her mouth.

“How is she, Doctor?” he asks.

He removes his blue cap just as I step beside Harlan, and fear creeps into the doctor’s expression. They all work for us. They know what it will mean if they can’t save her.

He clears his throat. “She suffered a significant head injury from repeated blunt force trauma. There’s swelling around the brain, and right now, she’s in a coma.”

Her mother sobs and collapses into Jace’s arms.

The doctor continues talking, all the words flipping in my head. Brain swelling. Pressure. Neurological response. Close monitoring. Repeat scans. The next twenty-four to forty-eight hours matter. They’re hopeful because she’s young and strong and her pupils are reacting, but there’s no guarantee she’ll wake up or come back the same.

Cole’s fist slams into the wall hard enough to crack the plaster, while Nash sits with one foot bouncing against the floor.

Theo paces behind him, both hands locked behind his head, and Greer stands near the corner with her arms crossed, eyes flat and furious. She looks exactly how I feel inside. Like she needs something to shoot.

“Blyat!” I throw a chair against the wall, the wood splintering into pieces.

A metal vase with flowers comes next, and it’s a shame that doesn’t break like the rest of me is.

I stand there in an empty hospital room minutes after the doctor left, my chest heaving, Thora’s blood still dried beneath my nails. I refuse to wash it off. I need to see it. I want to feel this all-consuming wrath.

This is my fault. I let her leave and took too long to go after her. I did this to her.

A roar rips out of me as I yank the lamp from the side table and hurl it across the room until it explodes against the wall.

I don’t know what else I can do. I’m useless. I don’t know if she will wake up or if she’ll even want me when she does.

What if she forgets me? What do I do then?

The door opens behind me, and I turn, ready to kill whoever was stupid enough to come in here. But it’s Konstantin standing in the doorway, surveying the destruction.

“Well…” He steps inside. “This is quite the damage.”

“What are you doing here?”

“Looking for you.” He studies me as his mouth curves before he grows serious again. “Were you ever going to tell me that you fell in love with her, or did you want to continue this charade until I confronted you?”

All the air leaves my lungs and I slump down the wall, gripping my face, exhaustion and fear replacing the anger beneath.

“If this is what love feels like…” My eyes meet his. “Then I don’t want it.”

He sighs and sits beside me, a palm against my shoulder. “Unfortunately for you, that’s not how love works.”

“As though I would know.”

He squeezes. “You know more than you think, brother. It’s inside you, the parts buried under everything he did to you. But I know it’s there. She has shown you that it’s there.”

I don’t know if what he’s saying is true, but maybe there’s still hope for me. I want there to be.

My hands curl at my sides, and a humorless laugh escapes me. “I’m sure you know by now that I can’t kill her.”

“I already figured that out.” A knowing slant touches his mouth. “I was waiting for you to admit it instead of hiding behind your mai tais.”

“Did you know the whole time?”

“Net.” He shakes his head. “But I grew suspicious early on when you kept her alive far longer than anyone else. The mai tais confirmed it.” He slaps me across my back. “I’m happy for you, Anton. I mean it.”