Page 28 of Twins with Daddy’s Bestie

“I don't know if I could go forward with termination,” I say, holding my hand over my stomach. There's nothing wrong with it, but the idea of going through the procedure alone makes me nauseous.

“You realize that means you'll have to tell Drake,” Callie says, apprehension heavy in her voice. I nod and inhale sharply, running through countless iterations of that conversation in my head. “Are you thinking you would want to raise the baby yourself?”

I freeze. I don't know if I can imagine myself as a mother. Some of my happiest memories were the ones I shared with my mom, but I got to spend so little time with her, and I don't know if I would know how to be a mother. At the same time, there isn't any right way, and I think I have enough love in my heart to give my child an incredible life.

But what about Drake? If I have this baby and decide to raise it alone, will he be a part of its life? Even if I quit my job and worked somewhere else, Drake would find out about the pregnancy. As much as I wish I could hide this from him, I can’t.

“I don't know if I'll be able to raise a child,” I admit, feeling surprisingly somber at the realization.

“There's always adoption,” Callie says, sitting up to try to keep my spirits high. “A lot of people are looking for children. It would be helping another couple. Some adoption agencies let you meet the couples while you're pregnant so you know who would be adopting. That could be worth looking into.”

I smile, letting her know her advice isn't falling on deaf ears. She grabs her laptop from her bedroom, and we begin looking over the process for adoption. I don't know if it's necessarily what I want to do at this moment, but it doesn't hurt to be well-informed. We look over various agencies and the process involved in finding adoptive parents. A surprising number of them offer payment to the mothers, which feels odd to me.

After a few hours, Callie closes the laptop, and I am not any clearer in my decision, but I feel better having discussed it.

“I know it's not a fun conversation, but if you're going to be carrying a baby to term, you have to tell Drake,” Callie says nervously. “Sure, you can wear loose-fitting clothes for a while, but that won’t work long term.”

“I hate it when you're right,” I sigh. “I’ll tell him on Friday.”

18

Drake

Three months ago, I would have been spending my Friday nights at a trendy new bar with a beautiful woman on my arm. I would have smiled and waved at the paparazzi as they planned the next day’s headlines. Then, I would have gladly taken the woman I was with home for the night and sent her on her way the next morning.

But that's not what I'm doing now. It's a Friday night, and I'm at home in my living room, my feet kicked up on the coffee table, watching The Matrix with a pizza on my lap. Admittedly, it's an enjoyable night. I rarely get to spend time alone unwinding, so I should be taking advantage of this, but it just feels depressing. I want to be doing this with Olivia.

The hold she has on me is unnatural. No woman has ever made me feel this way. No matter where I am or what I'm doing, she's always on my mind. I'm fixated on her in a way I've never been, and I can't move on.

“Come on, Drake,” I say, shaking my head in disappointment. I never wanted a girlfriend for a reason, and I told Olivia that. Why is it so hard to forget her?

I look at my phone on the couch beside me and contemplate my options. I can sit here and feel pathetic because I'm not with the girl I want, or I can put myself back out there and forget about her. It's been a while since I've been on a date, and I know it won't take long to find one. I could even set something up for tomorrow. Maybe that’s what I need to get over Olivia.

I pick up my phone, open the app store, and search for Raya. I've used it a couple times in the past, but I can’t even bring myself to download the app.

“Who am I kidding,” I sigh as I toss the phone back on the couch beside me. I try to focus on the movie, eating pizza, and laughing at the old graphics that were once cutting-edge.

My video doorbell alerts me that someone is outside, and I pick up my phone to see the alert. I open it, toss the pizza on the coffee table, and jump to my feet. It’s Olivia.

She's been out of the office all week since our conversation, and I wasn't expecting her to show up here. I watch her on the video camera for a moment, seeing that she's nervous and looking over her shoulder as if she might change her mind and leave. As much as I would like to change out of the sweatpants I'm wearing, I don't want to miss this opportunity.

I open the door, and she looks up at me nervously. Without saying a word, I step aside to invite her in, but she lingers nervously in the doorway, wringing her hands.

“To what do I owe this surprise?” I ask, confused but not unhappy.

“I need to talk to you about something.” She's almost shaking, so I'm worried, too. I put on a brave face and lead her into the living room, taking a seat beside her as I wait for her to elaborate. “There's no easy way for me to say this, and the longer I wait, the harder it's going to be, so I'm just going to say it.”

I wait for a moment, expecting her to say something, but no words come out. “Okay. I'm listening.”

She nods, gearing herself up to speak. Every second that passes makes me more anxious, but I don't want to rush her.

“I'm pregnant,” Olivia says so quietly that I'm not positive I heard her correctly. I couldn't have heard what I thought I did because it doesn’t make sense.

“Come again?” I ask, shaking my head and blinking faster to shake myself out of the daze those two words put me in.

“I'm pregnant, Drake. I found out last weekend, and I didn't know how to tell you,” Olivia continues. She lets out a long exhale. Now, I understand why she acted so strangely this week.

My head is swimming, and I feel like I might pass out. I'm so thankful that I'm sitting down. She watches me as I process the information, and I don't know what she wants me to say.