Page 81 of Gilded in Blood

“I know how it sounds. But it's the truth.”

I say, leaning forward, desperate for her to believe me. “I have no reason to lie to you anymore. It’s the truth.”

She doesn’t answer.

“Everything’s out, Milana. You know who I am. You know what I was hired to do. If I wanted to manipulate you, I’d keep lying.” I hold her gaze. “I’m done lying.”

The silence stretches between us.

“I’ve never…” I stop, searching for words I’ve never had to use before. “I’ve never felt this way about anyone.”

The confession feels foreign. Like I’m speaking someone else’s language.

“This is all new to me. “I’ve never…” I stop, searching for words I’ve never had to use before. My eyes find hers again. “All I know is that somewhere between your terrible jokes, the way you never stop talking, the way you argue with me over everything…” A faint smile tugs at my mouth despite myself. “Somewhere between all of that…” I shake my head. “…you got under my skin.”

She watches me in silence.

“I’ve spent my entire life keeping people at a distance.” I swallow. “Then you came along and made me want the exact opposite.”

She looks away, tears slipping down her cheeks. “Was that why you kissed me earlier?”

“Yes.” I swallow hard. “I’ve never understood kissing.” I shrug weakly. “It always felt… too personal.” I laugh once. I look down at my feet. “I’ve never wanted it with anyone. But with you…” I meet her eyes again. “I want everything. I want to taste your lips. I want to know every part of you. It makes no fucking sense, but that’s what you do to me.” I take a shaky breath. “I’m sorry for lying to you. I’m sorry for every second you spent believing I was someone else.”

I force myself to hold her gaze. “But I would never hurt you. I’m the last person on earth who would ever hurt you. I’d protect you with my life if I had to. You don’t have to be scared of me.”

She looks at me then, eyes full of pain and confusion, and the tears start falling faster. It breaks my heart to see her like this.

I stand up slowly, approaching her like I would a scared animal. Careful, no sudden movements. When I sit beside her and she doesn’t flinch away, I gently pull her into my arms.

She doesn’t fight me. I lift her gently onto my lap, wrapping her up completely, one hand stroking her back, the other cradling the back of her head.

For the first time since this nightmare began, she isn’t looking at me like I’m a stranger.

CHAPTER TWENTY-THREE

Milana

It was all too much.

Tonight, I found out that the man I’ve been living with, the man I’ve been falling for, has been lying to me the entire time.

The real Ilya was chained in the basement like an animal. The man I let inside me, the man who held me while I cried, the man whose arms I’m currently in… has been working against me. Against my family.

Nothing makes sense anymore. The book I found in his room. The name Kirill. The contradictions piling up. And then being dragged to the police station, questioned for hours, feeling like my whole world was crumbling.

I just want this day to be over.

I wipe my tears and stop crying, but I stay in his arms. He holds me tightly, one hand slowly threading through my hair in soothing strokes.

The truth is, as stupid and reckless as it sounds, I don’t hate him. Even after everything I’ve learned, I don’t. And what’s even more confusing is that I still want him. Badly.

I shift on his lap, pressing closer, feeling the growing hardness beneath me. He tenses, but doesn’t push me away.

I raise my head slowly and look at him. His eyes are dark, intense, filled with something raw and genuine that makes my heart stutter.

This is all fucked up. It doesn’t make any sense. But right now, I don’t care. I just want him. I need him to make me feel something. Anything other than this empty, hollow ache inside me.

I lean in. He meets me halfway.