Page 45 of Gilded in Blood

I didn’t expect flowers and romance, but… something. A kiss. A few minutes of holding me. Anything other than him just walking out like it was nothing.

I drag myself into the bathroom and turn on the shower. The warm water hits my skin, easing the tension in my body. I close my eyes, letting it wash over me, steadying my breath and clearing my mind.

After brushing my teeth and washing my face, I stare at my reflection for a moment. Flushed cheeks, messy hair. I look like a girl who just got thoroughly fucked.

And I loved every second of it. That doesn’t stop the quiet ache in my chest for what I wanted afterward but never got. To be held.

I slip back into bed, pulling the covers over my naked body, and curl around one of the pillows. My mind won’t stop spinning.

It’s just sex, I tell myself. He’s not my boyfriend. There’s nothing between us but this insane, dangerous attraction and the circumstances that forced us together.

Once this threat with Michael is over, he’ll disappear from my life.

So it’s better this way. No cuddling. No false intimacy. No getting attached.

Still… as I hug the pillow tighter to my chest, a part of me wishes it was him instead. Wishes I could feel his warm, solid body behind me, his arm wrapped around my waist, his breath on the back of my neck.

I close my eyes, trying to push the thought away.

But sleep doesn’t come easily. All I can feel is the ghost of his hands on my skin, the stretch of him inside me, and the empty space beside me in this big bed.

CHAPTER FOURTEEN

Kirill

Control has always been my only constant.

In this world, emotion is a luxury dangerous men cannot afford. Let your feelings rule you and you make stupid decisions. Impulsive ones, reckless ones.

You hesitate when you should pull the trigger. You spare someone you should kill. You trust the wrong person. And in my line of work, hesitation gets you buried.

I learned that lesson early and I’ve lived by it. No attachments. No weakness. No feelings that can be used against me.

Until her.

Last night, I was anything but in control.

I crossed a line I swore I never would. I’ve never touched a client. Never even been tempted. But Milana… she shattered every rule I’ve lived by.

I didn’t just cross the line. I burned it to the ground. I took her. I buried myself inside her raw, no protection, no restraint. The first woman I’ve ever had without a condom. The first woman who’s ever made me lose my fucking mind like that.

I’ve never met anyone who affects me the way Milana does. She knows exactly how to get under my skin, sending my pulse through the roof with a single look or smart remark. Then, just as quickly, she calms the storm she started without even realizing she’s doing it.

When she told me she was a virgin, I should have left the room like I had planned to. A better man would have walked away. But I’m not a good man.

I tried, for one weak second, I tried. But the way she looked at me, the way she pleaded… I couldn’t deny her. I couldn’t deny myself.

Now I’ve tasted her. I’ve felt how perfectly she squeezed around my cock. I’ve watched her come apart underneath me, while her virgin blood marked me. I want more. I want her all to myself.

Because the thought of another man ever touching her makes my blood boil. The idea of someone else inside her, hearing her moans, claiming what I took last night. It awakens something dark and violent in me.

I know it's irrational. She isn’t mine. She never was. But reason has very little power over whatever has taken root inside me.

I’ve spent years making sure nothing could get under my skin. No weakness. No distraction. And somehow, the first woman I fall for is the one woman I was never meant to touch.

If her brothers ever find out what I’ve done to their precious sister, they’ll try to kill me. And Michael… he still believes I’m his weapon. If he finds out I’ve compromised the mission, he’ll come for her even harder.

This is exactly why men like me aren’t supposed to want anything. The moment you have something to lose, someone else learns how to use it against you.