Page 67 of Pretend it’s Forever

And our parents hadn’t reached out once.

I might have been the one presumed dead in those instances, but now those people were dead to me. Just like they should have been years ago.

“Carson. That must have been so terrifying.” She moved forward then, and I held out my arms. When she sank into me, my heartbeat slowed slightly, and I realized how tense I had been.

“We spent one night in the forest until emergency services could find us. We were all okay, a little sore from the rough landing, but nobody was worse for wear. I contacted Cora as soon as I could, as well as most of the company, but apparently I had already been declared dead on the internet.”

“It was terrifying,” Sophia said softly. “And I know that rumors can just be rumors, but when you didn’t reach out⁠—”

“I just landed like an hour ago at DIA. And the first thing I did was come here. I was going to call, and well…” I sighed. “I didn’t even know if you would’ve cared. Or noticed. That was selfish of me, I know. But I didn’t want to worry you with a phone call to tell you that I’m alive, if you didn’t even know I was hurt, or if you even wanted to hear from me.”

“Are you serious right now? Even if I hated you, I would want to know you were alive.”

“I know that. I’m just a chicken shit. And then as soon as I talked to Cora, I knew that you heard about the accident. And I had to find the words. But all of this to say, no matter how meandering this conversation goes, it’s because I wanted to see you in person. I wanted to hold you and tell you that I was safe.”

“Carson—”

“Please? Just this once.”

And as she gave me an odd look, and nodded in understanding, I cupped her face and took her mouth with mine. She sank into me, and I brushed my tongue along her lips. When she parted them for me, I deepened the kiss, needing her taste.

“I was so scared I would never see you again,” I whispered against her mouth, and she pulled back and frowned.

“I thought you didn’t want to see me again,” she said after a moment, her voice devoid of emotion. “It’s why you pushed me away. We had no promises.”

I cursed under my breath and ran my hand over my chest. “Because I’m an idiot. Because I’m fucking scared. I shouldn’t have done that. Even if we were going to end things in that moment, I should have driven you here. But I was afraid once I got you in my car, I was never going to let you go. All I wanted to do was just be with you, and it’s ridiculous because I’ve never felt like this about anyone.”

She shook her head, confusion etched on her face. “And this epiphany came when you thought you were dying?”

“No. I mean, yes, I thought of you because I didn’t know if those were my last moments. But before I even got on the plane, before your brothers showed up to yell at me, I knew I’d made a mistake and I was going to have to find a way to atone. To fix it. And I still don’t know how to do that.”

“Carson, I haven’t slept, and I know you haven’t either, so you’re going to have to be plain. What on earth are you talking about?”

“I love you, Sophia. I was so fucking scared that I was going to lose you, and then I nearly lost myself. I know you didn’t ask for this. You didn’t ask for me or any of the drama that comes from me being in your life, but I love you. I’ve never loved anyone before, I’ve never felt like this before. And all of this was intensified even before I thought I was going to die. And I don’t know how to prove that to you. But no matter what, I will do all in my power to show you that I’m worthy. Because I’m not right now. But I will be.”

Tears were falling down her cheeks again, and she took a step forward, her hand on my chest.

“You love me?”

“I shouldn’t be so surprised that you sound flabbergasted at the thought, but I do. I hope to god that you can take a chance on me. I know you didn’t want forever either. And you didn’t want a relationship. Hell, you’re still dealing with that asshole. And you have your babies, and your family, the studio. You have everything. But if you let me, if you let me just be part of it, I will do all in my power to show you that I love you, and that I can be your helpmate.”

I took a step back, ready for her to reject me. After all, I would deserve it, but when she reached for me, I took her hand, unable to watch her reach for anything. To ache for anything.

“You love me,” she repeated.

“Of course I do. I think I loved you the first time you swooned in my arms.”

“I did not swoon,” she corrected, though a smile covered her face.

“Maybe a little. But I think I loved you then. Your strength, your tenacity. Your humor. I know I can be a better man for you, and with you.”

“You need to be a better man for yourself, but I don’t think you’re as evil and corrupt as you think you are. Or at all,” she corrected.

“Maybe. Maybe you see the light in me, and I wouldn’t mind fading out the darkness just a bit.”

She still hadn’t told me how she felt, and I was okay with that. I would wait, and I would earn it. But the fact that she hadn’t kicked me out had to count as a plus.

“I can go. I know I have a few things to do with the company later, and well, you said you hadn’t slept. I should leave you be.”