Page 85 of Wicked Nightmare

But I couldn't. My feet led me further inside, forcing me to look. Forcing me to see what had been walled out for so long. Giving me answers I didn't need. Didn't want. Not anymore.

I blinked back tears, taking in every detail. The smell of antiseptic and someone's cologne thrust me further into the flashback. A table in the middle of the room held toys, ones I remembered playing with as a little girl. And there she was...

My breath caught in my throat as I saw her: a four-year-old version of myself, sitting at that same table, surrounded by doctors with clipboards and cameras. They watched me intently as I recited a creed from heart while drawing a picture of death. It felt surreal, like stepping into a nightmare within a nightmare.

I am born from the unseen, A vessel of purpose, a shadow among the light. I belong to the Order, the chosen few, And my will is not my own, but the will of Chimera.

I am a thread in the web, Invisible to the eye, indispensable to the whole. I stand in service, I act in silence, For I am the Hand that shapes the future.

I speak not of doubt, nor of weakness, For the path of the lost is the path of oblivion. To question is to fall; to falter is to fail. I do not stray; I do not hesitate.

My heart beats for the cause, My blood is the blood of Chimera. Every breath I take is for the Order, Every thought I have belongs to them.

Those who wander will return, For no other path is true. Chimera is the light, And those who stray from its glow will be swallowed by darkness. I shall lead them back, for I am the way.

My soul is bound to Chimera, Its mission is my mission, Its silence is my voice, Its truth is my truth.

I am not lost, for I belong, And those who stray, I shall find. The Order is eternal, And I shall never stray again.

I stumbled over something as I tried to escape, the words pinging around in my brain, causing a loud ringing to break out inside my head. Looking down, it was the head of a stuffed rabbit. One the little girl had on the table right now. I could see, as if I was an outsider, hear, as if I was an observer. But the truth was slamming into my chest, forcing me to relive this moment as if it was a movie.

"Lakey?" The girl's voice startled me. "Why are you here? Aren't you supposed to be doing something else?" She tilted her head curiously, those big blue eyes wide with wonder and fear. "Father Christopher will be so angry with you. Oh, Lakey, they had such big plans for you."

Her question hung in the air between us, suspended by invisible threads. I couldn't answer her; I couldn't even process what was happening. Suddenly, everything rushed back to me in a torrent of images: My time at the fucking nunnery, this orphanage, the pregnancy, the foster homes who would bring me here for 'reprogramming'.

Cam. Oh God, was he part of this too?

Suddenly, I was the one falling to my knees on that cold concrete floor, screaming into my hands until there were no more tears left to shed.

"It shouldn't have been like this," I whispered brokenly through sobs that racked my body. "I was never supposed to remember any of this."

But you did, you asked to remember... and now you'll pay for the gift of knowledge. Her voice echoed in my ear as her mouth opened in a piercing scream. It's not too late to come home... find Chimera. Come home. She's waiting for you. Come home. The Order is eternal, and I shall never stray again.

I sensed him before he spoke. Cam approached me from behind, wrapping an arm around my waist as he sat down, pulling me into his lap, soothing my hair with his hand. "Lakey... You alright?" His voice was soft, comforting. I didn't answer, unable to tear my eyes away from the image of myself as a child.

We sat there in silence for what felt like hours, Cam just allowing me to come back to myself. To find the piece of my soul that had broken off from the rest. The stillness was broken only by the heavy breathing that took me a minute to realize was mine. Looking down at the table, the picture I'd drawn, covered in dust and grime was staring at me. Me, killing another little girl. Cam took it from me, rubbing my shoulder as he shoved it in his backpack. Underneath it was a photo. I swallowed hard, forcing myself to look at it. A memory flashed, holding hands with a nun, Sister Agatha was her name, outside these very walls, and anger bubbled up inside me.

But it wasn't just anger; it was a deep, visceral rage fueled by the pain and loss of my child. Of me. My hand tightened around the knife handle, steadying my trembling fingers.

Quietly, Cam picked me up and put me on my feet, leading me out of the room and into another hallway lined with empty cells where we found something else entirely: a black monitor. Cam hit the power button, and it choked to life, a grainy picture coming into focus. The footage showed a lab beyond description, experiments gone wrong all over the walls, while people were hooked up haphazardly to machines meant to keep them alive longer than they should have been. Doctors walked around, cutting into them, pouring liquid into their injuries, eyes or mouth. Tutting as they studied their reactions under different circumstances. More anger filled my veins as I instinctively recognized Chimera's symbol scrawled across test tubes on a table, one doctor holding a tube in his hands with a smile.

"Let's go find whatever information this place has left," I spat out between clenched teeth, already heading towards yet another open door leading further down into madness. Cam smiled at my side before following without question or hesitation, our shared hatred for Chimera feeding each other's determination.

"Should we try this one?" He asked, bowing low as a hysterical giggle bubbled up in my chest. I’d lost it. I’d gone well and truly mad.

"Yes, yes, lead the way! It's like coming home."

"Babe, you go do that, there's something I need to see down here. I dunno, feels like I need to check it out. It's like... pulling me over there. I don't want to leave you though, so are you okay to check this one out? I'll be right there if you need me."

I understood that feeling having just been through it, so I just nodded and turned back to the room, leaving Cam to do what he needed. He'd come running if I screamed.

The smell hit me first. Bleach and something coppery. Fresh blood. My nose wrinkled as I pushed open the heavy metal door, revealing a surprisingly pristine lab.

Much to my surprise there was a man, a man in a white coat, hunched over a microscope. My breath caught. This is it.

He must've heard the door, because he spun around, eyes wide with panic. "Who—" he started, but I was already moving.

He bolted for another exit, but I was faster. My knife found his leg with practiced ease, and he went down with a shriek.