Page 43 of Three Hockey Hotties

I know all too well that life can be unpredictable and difficult. We all need people who support us, stand beside us, and love us. No matter how independent we want to be. Sadie reminds me of that all the time.

Kane, Dash, and Benjamin have awakened a vulnerable part of me, I’ll admit. I didn’t realize that I wanted more comfort and support in my life. That I was touch starved and that having people insist on taking care of me would feel so good.

But if I need more people in my life, I should go out and find them elsewhere.

After all, my sister had to go out and find her own support system and she’s happy now. Without us, yes, but she found her people. It can be done. But I am not going to be responsible for breaking up this clearly strong trio of men who have already found their tribe.

Me: Can’t this weekend. Going to stay with my parents since I’m homeless.*crying emoji* I’ll text you!

Sadie: Ugh, that’s such a long drive. Can’t you stay with your lawyer?

Absolutely not.

I want to.

Too much.

But absolutely not.

And he’s not my lawyer. He’s Kane and Dash’s.

Me: No, that’s too much. You know how I feel about serious relationships.

She knows I hesitate to get close to people because I don’t want to put people through the horrors of a serious illness and potential loss.

She’s different. She gets it on a much different level.

She also thinks I’m ridiculous. And begs me to talk to a therapist.

I understand her concerns, but it’s a real fear. My cancer could come back. Something else could happen. After all, I wasn’t supposed to get cancer as a kid, either.

The cancer wrecked my entire family. I can’t do that to anyone else. I can’t watch people I love suffer because of me again.

Sadie: Sweetie, you have to stop doing this to yourself.

Me: I can’t talk about this right now.

Sadie: *heart emoji* I know. But I want you to be happy.

I know she does. But I truly believe I can be happy without being in love.

I have to believe that.

Me: Need to get ready. Big work meeting today.

Sadie: Okay. But this isn’t over. I love you.

I sent her a kissy face emoji, but this is over.

It has to be.

I’m going to have to be content with only my dreams of these men.

CHAPTER 10

DASH

Kane is pacing back and forth in the kitchen impatiently.