Page 8 of Capturing the Captain

Josh

What started out as the perfect day had turned into the day from hell. After my talk with Michaelson at practice, I didn't know what to do. I've thought about it all day. I was so in my head at training, I couldn't focus on anything. I missed passes, didn't score and at the end of it all, Coach ripped me a new one in his office.

With his mood lately and the way I've been unfocused, I really am skating on thin ice.

After practice ended, I still hadn't made a decision on whether or not I should go out with Olivia tonight. I needed to speak to someone who knows me and who always gives out the best advice.

It’s 4:30pm when the familiar bell rings overhead at my aunt’s coffee shop. It’s fairly quiet at this time of day. Most people are heading home to prepare dinner for their families. I immediately find a table at the back of the cafe. A quiet corner where I can speak openly about what’s going on in my head.

“Hey, Button.” My aunt, Diane, says as she makes her way over to me. After my parents divorced, she helped my mom raise me and my sister. She has called me Button ever since I was born and I've always hated it. Right now, I welcome the feeling of the childhood nickname. “You never come here twice in one day. Is everything okay?”

“I need advice.” I tell her, hanging my head.

“Okay. Can I get you anything first?” She asks.

“I’m good, thanks.”

“Oh, well this must be serious then.” She takes a seat opposite me and rests her hands on mine across the table. “What’s going on?”

“It’s a girl.” I say, vulnerability in my tone. “An amazing woman who I'd love to pursue but…”

“But what?” She asks, attentively. I let out a slow breath. Before I can speak again, she asks, “Is it Olivia?”

“How do you know Olivia?” One eyebrow raised in question.

“She comes here almost everyday. She’s a lovely woman.” Huh, weird I've never seen her here before.

“Yes, it’s her.” I dive into the situation and Aunt Diane listens intently the whole time.

“I barely know her, you know. It should be easy to break it off now before anything truly starts. But, I've never felt this way about anyone before. Do I throw away what could possibly be the most real relationship I've ever had over a hypothetical situation?”

“Honey, I've never seen you this worked up before.” She says after I've finished my rant. “Right now, you're thinking with two different parts of yourself; your head and your heart. A lot of men your age only think with their-”

“Don’t!” I cut her off and she laughs softly.

“Your mom was always better at giving advice than I was. If she was here right now I'm not sure we'd have the same answer but I'm thinking realistically here.” I take a deep breath and wait to hear what she has to say. I don't think I'm going to like it.

“It sounds like Olivia is really excited for this job. You don't want to be the reason that her job is in jeopardy. I think you should end it now, and you never know, after her contract ends or the season is over, you may feel the same way. And if that happens, you know it’s meant to be.”

“But how can I be around her every day and feel like this?” I ask, defeated.

“I’m sure it'll be hard, Button. But will it be harder if it ends now, or if you spend the next week learning everything about her?”

I contemplate that for a few seconds.

She’s right. At this moment, I need to think with my head and not my heart. And if in six months or a year, I still feel the same? I will cross that bridge when I come to it.

“I’ve gotta go, Dee. I need to speak to Olivia. Fuck, it hurts just thinking about it.”

“Language, Josh.”

“Sorry.” I say sheepishly. I'm a grown man and still get embarrassed when this woman scolds me. “Thank you,” I tell her, standing from my seat. “I know what I need to do.”

I give my aunt a kiss on her cheek before leaving the cafe.

It’s not until I'm outside that I check my phone. Oh fuck, it after 6pm. Maybe this conversation will be easier now, because Olivia is gonna hate me for not calling until now. I go to the contact I typed in my phone this morning and press the call button. I wait anxiously until she answers.

“Hello.” She answers the call. God, she sounds miserable. And I can bet anything that I did that. I feel terrible but I'm sure I'll feel worse after we talk.