Page 41 of Capturing the Captain

“I don't think I'll ever trust him again.” She replies, tears soaking her shirt. “And, FUCK!” She screams, jumping off the couch and pacing the floor. “He’s acting like nothing even happened! It’s like he can't even see how this whole shitshow is making me feel. Or he does see it, thinks I’ll forgive and forget, and he’s just ignoring it.”

“You know what, Sash, fuck him. Fuck. Him. You don't need that bastard in your life.” I tell her. “You’ve been acting like a shell of who you were just a few weeks ago. You can't live like that your whole life.” She flops back down onto the couch, looking so tired. “Come stay with me for a while. I think you need some time to regroup,” trying to convince her.

“I couldn't do that. That's not fair on you,” she replies.

“I’m not taking no for an answer. My bed is big enough for the two of us. Now, get up and let's go pack a bag before Max comes back from work. We’ll order takeout and watch a movie.”

“Okay, fine,” she says, standing from her place on the couch, “but I am not gonna be the third spoon when Josh stays over.”

After packing as much of Sasha’s stuff into suitcases that we could, we went back to my place. I told her on the way about what happened with Conor this morning, and also my slip up with Josh. I haven't brought up what happened between her and Conor yet, though. I'm waiting for the right time.

I text Josh to let him know that I wouldn't be able to see him tonight but that I have made an appointment for tomorrow morning with a tattoo artist, someone that I’ve known since moving here. I met him in Buttons and Books, and was so intrigued by him. He’s a giant man and looks so terrifying. I was curious as to why he was in that cafe, of all places. I would have thought he'd be an underground bar kinda guy. His name is Teddy, which is kinda fitting for him when you get to know him. Tattoos covered him from head to toe, and he had piercings everywhere. And, I mean, everywhere. I haven't seen them, thank God, but after we chatted for a while, he was very eagerly talking about them all. He may look scary and intimidating, but he’s honestly one of the nicest guys I’ve ever met. He’s the one who gave me the feather tattoo on my ribs, a reminder that I’m free of the life I was living before.

I am beyond excited for tomorrow. Josh is not. I’ve sent over my ideas to Teddy, and he’s drawn up a few sketches. I am in love with them, and I hope like hell Josh will love it too. I'm pretty scared about his reaction, though. If I could talk to his aunt about it, I would, but she hasn't brought Josh up since we ‘ended things’. I just want Josh to tell her about us when he’s ready.

Sasha and I are curled up in bed, watching Mean Girls for the millionth time. It’s our comfort movie. Her phone dings with multiple texts, but she angles her phone away from me when I try to peek, calling me a nosy bitch. “Is it Max?”

“Max probably hasn't even noticed that I'm missing,” she says, distaste in her voice.

“Well, who is it then?” I question her, seeing the guilt in her eyes, making me more curious.

“It’s no one,” she rattles off.

“Sash!” I give her my best ‘don’t shit with me’ look.

“Okay. Fine. It’s Conor.” She says so softly that I can barely hear her.

“Excuse me, what was that?”

“It’s Conor, okay? I didn't want to tell you because I thought you’d make a big deal out of it.” She admits.

“Well, it depends,” I hesitate, “What is there to make a big deal out of?”

“I kissed him.”

“You what?” I scream, rising from the bed to stare at her. I feel like my eyes are gonna bulge out of my head with how wide they are.

“Don’t judge me.”

“I'm not judging you. I'm just-” I take a deep breath, “When?”

“Last night.” She admits, covering her face with her hands so that her answer was muffled. “I didn't mean to. It just kinda happened. And I stopped after like, two seconds.”

“Sasha, what the hell? I mean, I get it. He’s hot as fuck, and he can be really charming when he wants to be. But, do you really think it’s a good idea to start something new right now?”

“No, I don't, and that's why I stopped it straight away. I regretted it immediately.” She says, hanging her head. “But, he did let me sleep in his bed and he slept on the couch, which was really fucking sweet.”

“He can be sweet.” Sometimes. “I bet that's why he wanted to talk to Josh this morning. He acted so shady when I asked if you got home okay.”

We’re quiet for a while, just watching the movie, but I am dying to ask her more about all of this. I can tell she knows I wanna ask her something since I keep glancing at her and clearing my throat, but she hasn’t said anything.

I glance at her again, and she snaps, “Oh my God, what is it?”

Startling me, I answer, “I was just wondering if you were gonna start seeing him, that’s all. Jesus.”

“No. I mean, I literally just left Max like two hours ago, so no.”

“Just be single for a while, girl! Go out and fool around with every guy you meet. Just use protection. You don’t wanna get all yucky,” I quip.