Page 98 of Tides of Shadows

On my way to the chambers I crossed the courtyard and saw that trunks bearing the Cineris crest were being loaded into wagons. I found him by the stables.

“I thought you’d already left,” I said.

Dricus glanced up from adjusting his saddle. “I had a few matters left to settle. I spoke with Eric Salvadore regarding the knights in the south.”

“It’s that why you voted for him?” I wasn’t judging, just stating the truth.

“It’s more complicated than that.”

“You always hide something from me.”

He stilled, his hand resting against the leather. “If I told you the full truth about myself, you would never speak to me again.”

“Maybe it’s only you that is afraid.” I caught the flicker in his expression, the way his gaze dropped. “You cannot always fight alone. You must learn to trust others.”

“You want to hear it?” His voice roughened. “That I need you in Emberhold. That one part of me wants you never to set foot there, while another searches for any reasons to bring you south. But none of them really matter. Other than death and war. I know you don’t want to be a part of that.”

“Can you please stop deciding for me what I want?” I cut him off. “You have no idea what I want.”

Dricus laughed, “You’re still young.”

“Don’t speak to me like I’m some foolish girl!” Heat flooded my chest as I stepped closer. “I know perfectly well what lives inside of us. You think I don’t know this darkness you speak of, the one that terrifies you so much?” With each word, I closed the distance until I stood directly before him. “It wasn’t you who was violated in your dreams by those monsters!”

I struck his solid chest with my fist. He stood immovable, silent as stone. Tears burned at the corners of my eyes. He saw my pain. Reached for me but I stepped back.

“I’m going to Durminas.”

“The Cavareths?”

“Yes. Apparently there’s someone there who can teach me how to protect myself,” I said with my head low.

“Good.” The word came slowly, as though he were trying to convince himself.

“But when I gain control over it, I will come south.” My voice steadied. “I won’t leave you. None of us should be alone. I promise.”

He fell silent for a moment, his gaze settling on my necklace.

“And Cavareth? It looks rather official,” he said at last, lifting a brow.

“I know you don’t like him,” I said softly.

Dricus laughed under his breath. “I don’t hold the highest opinion of him.” There was more irony than anger in his smile. “But I hold a better opinion of you. Perhaps that will be enough for me to learn to endure him.”

Another night I haven’t slept. I didn’t know how much longer I would endure. At dawn, we were ready to depart. Wagons and horses were already waiting in the square by the main gate. Guards and servants gathered slowly. A handful of people came to see us off. A few Cavareth knights joined our journey, and Peter as well, whom I had come to know a little bit better. The rest of the guard would remain in the city with Family.

Aidenar came a little later, bidding farewell to the men. He wore a leather riding outfit, much darker than I was used to seeing him. No more a carefree lordling. A man responsible for his own fate now.

Even Cassandra appeared, alongside Sofia. Young lady Cavareth embraced her brother tightly. She would remain at the palace with their mother and father. I already pitied her for it.

Mirabel had also chosen to stay in White City. She wasn’t ready to return home yet. Aidenar had secured her a position with Sofia, so the two could keep watch over one another. From what I’d observed, they had taken to each other well. Sofia approached me with that frivolous step of hers, dressed like a doll, with her golden curls and porcelain skin.

“So,” she said, tilting her head. “You’ve stolen my brother away, and now I’m next in line to be my mother’s victim.”

My face went red and I was terrified after those words.

“Don’t panic.” She smiled with those devilish eyes. “I’m glad you found each other. And good luck with Mina.”

I stared at her, uncomprehending. She hugged me deeply and went off.