Page 8 of A Deal with my Bully Roommate

“The bullying…it was because you were trying to hide your sexuality?” God, this is so messed up, but I’m eating it up. “You thought if you tormented me, your attraction to girls would go away?”

I see tears gathering in Harper’s eyes. She sniffs, brushing them away hurriedly, mortified to be crying in front of the girl she’s been bullying for years.

“It’s none of your business,” she says in a low voice, lunging for the sketchbook. I pull it out of her reach, but she loses balance and falls, pushing me onto the bed, her body landing on top of mine. Her wet, blonde hair spills over my face, as she clings to my shoulders, our bodies pressing together.

“Tell me the truth, Harper,” I say, holding onto her waist and not letting her go. “I deserve to know. Because right now, I can’t understand your obsession with me.”

She exhales, her eyes so vulnerable that I feel she might break.

“You win,” she says finally. “I…I’m a lesbian. Happy?”

She pulls out of my grasp, but I hold her hand, pulling her back to sit on my bed.

“Let me go,” she says. “I have laundry to fold.”

“You can do that later.”

“God, you must love this. Seeing Harper Price fall.” Harper throws her face into her hands, as if she’s ashamed. I want to gloat, but this is too pitiful, even for me.

“Harper, being homosexual is not a crime.” I squeeze her hand tighter, wondering why the hell I’m comforting my bully. Of course, deep inside, I know the answer.

“It is, if you’re a Price.” She looks at me, her composure shattering. “I’m supposed to marry Marcus. I’m not supposed to want... this. I’m not supposed to want you.”

Her final words catch me by surprise. She pauses, realizing what she has revealed.

“You want me?” I ask her, tension choking the air.

She nods. “I have, since tenth grade. "’ve spent four years trying to make you hate me. I figured if I could make you the villain, I wouldn't have to admit that I’ve been in love with you since the tenth grade.”

Her revelation is shocking. Harper starts crying now, throwing her face into her hands. “I tried to hard to hide it. I thought it’d go away if you hated me. I know, I’m so pathetic.”

I reach out, touching her shoulder. “It’s okay.” I never thought I’d be consoling my bully someday. “Does anyone else know?”

“No,” she admits. “I have no idea how my parents will react when they find out. This business merger…marriage with Marcus is all they talk about.” I understand why she’s this way now. She goes on, meeting my eyes, “I…hated how free you were, Avery. I hated that you could be open about your sexuality while I felt like a failure because I liked you. You were beneath me in every level—looks, wealth, personality—but I couldn’t stop being drawn to you. The more I liked you, the weaker I became. So, I started bullying you. I wanted to hurt you because you made me feel things.”

The admission hits me like a physical blow. The "deal," the thesis theft, the bullying—it was all a frantic attempt to bury a truth that was too dangerous to tell.

“I’m sorry,” she says, sniffing. “I should’ve said that to you a long time ago.” I look at the sketches she has made of me. “I saw everything you did; remembered every detail. You were the one thing I couldn’t have. The irony is, the more I bullied you, the deeper I fell.” She lets out a choked laugh. “You must think I’m crazy.”

“Liking someone isn’t a bad thing, Harper. Bullying someone because you like them is.”

“I know,” she says in a low voice. “I was so confused about my feelings. I wanted to make them go away, to make you go away. My secret was like a ticking time bomb. Nobody could find out, least of all you.” She laughs brokenly. “But it’s too late for that, isn’t it?”

A moment of silence falls between us, making all the air disappear. There’s nothing except the awareness of Harper, her hair wet, her body naked under the robe, her glassy eyes staring at me. And I realize that I’m attracted to her too. As crazy as it sounds, I’ve started to see Harper in a new light over the past few weeks.

“You…like me?” I hazard. “Why didn’t you tell me before?”

“Didn’t you hear anything I said? I don’t want anyone to know I like girls. Besides, I bullied you throughout high school. I didn’t think you’d welcome my confession with open arms.” She looks up through her wet lashes and says, “I’m sorry.” She turns her face away. “I should’ve said that to you a long time ago. I’m sorry, Avery.”

I don’t know how to greet her confession. I can’t forgive her yet, but the draw to her is like a moth to a flame. Time ticks away, as I make a strange decision in my head. To cross the distance; to touch the flame that can burn me.

“Would you like to kiss me?” I surprise both of us by asking. Harper’s face snaps up, her jaw dropping.

“Avery…” I can see the conflict in her eyes. The sketchbook lies open between us, a testament to her feelings. “I’ve never kissed a girl before.”

I push her sketchbook away and lean over. “I could be your first.”

It’s a temptation Harper struggles to resist. I expect her to flinch, to push me away, to revert to the monster, but instead, she leans over, meeting me halfway. Her soft palms cup my jaw as her feather-light lips meet mine in a kiss. I press my lips against hers and burn down all the walls that have kept us apart for so many years.