Page 71 of Trove’s Purpose

“Do you want a mate?”

“No.”

He didn’t hesitate to answer. But the look on his face wasn’t one of rejection. It was confusion. And she realized again that, like his opinion on sex, she had to think about this differently. Or, at least, she had to come at this differently.

“Do you want me?” She tried this time, her voice softer.

He took his time answering. Staring at the ground between her for a moment before lifting his eyes to look at her. And again, the expression on his face was strange. Like there was something broken in him that was grinding together, bringing the whole system to a stop.

“I don’t know,” he finally said.

And that hurt too. But it was an answer she didn’t think he meant to be hurtful. It was more like he was genuinely confused.

“I don’t want to hurt you,” he continued quickly, struggling. “I don’t want to send you away. I don’t not want to be with you. I definitely want you to be happy. I feel like your happiness would be better served away from me. But I still want to be around you. It’s… complicated.”

“You’re scared of intimacy,” she summarized.

He winced. “I… I don’t know.”

She knew though. And if she set her hurt feelings aside, she could see that he genuinely did not understand his own feelings. There was something broken in him, and she had to know what it was. She had to know what made him tick.

Smiling, she reached out for him this time. She stroked his cheek just as he had hers. But he leaned more securely into her touch, covering her hand with his. Keeping it there. But the look on his face was one of pain. Like it hurt him.

He didn’t know. She didn’t think he knew how to figure it out.

So, she would.

“Let’s go dancing tonight,” she said. “And get this painting so we can get this cup. And we’ll figure out the rest on the way.”

He nodded. And even looked a little relieved.

And it was a rough start, but she felt like maybe, finally, they were starting.

Chapter 23

Trove

When Trove and the others were readying to leave Rik-Vane, when the idea became more of a certainty than just a vague hope or dream, there had been a long talk to determine exactly what they were going to do when they got out.

The problem was, they were all a bunch of criminals. Their idea of right and wrong was highly subjective and personal and could change based on the day and situation. The law wasn’t so flexible. Tanin knew, very well, that once they got out, it would be incredibly easy for them to fall back onto old, familiar, easy habits and find themselves right back in trouble.

There was, objectively, no place worse to go than Rik-Vane. That cesspool of depravity and degeneracy was lawless in every respect of the word. There was no order there. The gangs that formed were temporary, transient, and fell apart the moment the leader was gone. When a population was literally reduced to eating each other for survival, there wasn’t much further down to go.

For them, murder wasn’t so much a horrific act as it was a tool to use as necessary. Stealing was just part of life. They were criminals to everyone else, but to them, the ‘wrong’ things they did were as normal as picking up some food for third meal or cleaning up their living quarters.

That’s why, when they were choosing what they were going to do to earn their credz to live, Tanin had shot down the idea of being mercenaries. It was why he had such a hard stance on doing anything remotely similar to mercenary work.

Such a line of employment would be easy for them. Natural even. It was probably something they would absolutely flourish in.

But it was also the kind of work that would make it far too easy for them to break the law. The Coalition set very firm standards for what mercenaries were and were not allowed to do. Murder, for instance, was strictly not allowed. They were allowed a certain degree of violence, but the rules and regulations for that were so exact and strict and varied, it could be confusing.

Tanin knew better than to trust them with such a thing. It wouldn’t be a deliberate act of aggression or assault, but it would be too easy for them to forget a rule or overlook something and suddenly they were all in trouble again.

No, Tanin steered them right away from that career path. Though it would have been far easier, and far more profitable, it would jeopardize the freedom they had worked so hard for. It had been annoying for some of them at the time – especially for the twins – but Trove had to agree that Tanin made the right choice.

Because damn did it feel good to do mercenary work.

Chee asking them to get the cup had been a simple concession to their need for what she had at the time. The wire to attach Alred to the Vainglory was not something they were ever going to find easily, and the only reason they had the old one was because it had been stolen with him from the very same recycling facility and then followed him to Rik-Vane. Chee’s was not meant to be a difficult job, just a slight extension of their normal delivery gig.