Page 44 of Trove’s Purpose

He cocked his head.

“We watched a documentary about you.”

He blinked, surprised. “A documentary? What do you… Oh. You watched something about my crimes.”

She nodded. “We didn’t… We thought it would be fun. You guys are so cavalier about your past but… I realize… We realized too late that it’s not because you don’t care. It’s not because it’s not some big deal. I’m sorry for doing it without your permission.”

Trove straightened his head and looked her over carefully for a long minute before saying, “It’s okay. I don’t mind. But are you okay? It’s not a pretty story, I know.”

Chee frowned. “Not a pretty story?”

He shrugged, like it really did mean nothing, but he looked away. “Well, I did kill my mother and aunt. I imagine that’s not an easy thing for a normal person to hear.”

“So, you really did it?”

“I did it.” He looked back, and there was no smile on his face this time. “I shot them both. I beat them to death. I don’t regret it. I’m a monster, Chee. We all are. We’re not good people; we’re controlled people. There’s a difference.”

Chapter 15

Trove

There was a precariousness here. This situation felt strange. Almost unreal. He knew that Chee was aware that they were from Rik-Vane, that because of that, they wouldn’t be good people. But she knew specifics now, and that put him in a dangerous situation.

He had gone to her room, wanting to talk to her, but she hadn’t been there. It was good fortune that he ran into her coming back. But he didn’t want to talk anymore. He was scared. Worried about how she was going to react to him. To his past. To what he had done.

Crimes he couldn’t deny. Crimes he didn’t deny.

The females of his ship, his sisters, his mate, were all from such different worlds. They couldn’t really understand what they had gone through. And now he was hanging from a precipice, hoping that she could find it in her to forgive him because that’s all they had.

“Will you tell me what happened?” She asked.

Trove’s tongue immediately went still. Froze in his mouth. Died completely. The idea of talking about his youth, to disclosing the truth of his family’s murders, was enough to nearly stop his heart. He couldn’t tell her. It wasn’t that he didn’t want to, he had no way of speaking the words. They were rocks in his chest, refusing to even migrate to his throat.

Chee was staring at him. What expression was on his face? What must she be thinking? He couldn’t read her expression. He couldn’t make a guess.

She blinked at him once, tilting her head, before suddenly saying, “Want to go practice on that simulated shooting range you bought?”

“What?” He blurted out dumbly. That one word able to escape, because it wasn’t his past. It wasn’t the truth he couldn’t speak.

“The shooting range,” she said again, pointing back. “The new one in the gym room? Want to have a contest?”

“A contest…”

“Yeah. If I win, you answer my question. And if you win, I’ll do whatever you want. Within reason.”

Trove didn’t answer for a long moment. Not sure what he wanted to say. He’d given Tanin the broad strokes of his past, but only because their captain demanded absolute honesty. He hadn’t been able to really convey the details.

But maybe he didn’t have to with her either. And maybe losing the bet, like swearing his allegiance to Tanin, would be enough to loosen whatever lock snapped in his throat whenever he tried. Just enough that he might be able to explain.

“Deal,” he said, his guts already twisting up in unease.

But if he won…

He hated that he’d hurt her. He hated that Chee had given him such a look of disgust and sadness and pain. Like he’d stabbed her in the back. Like he’d disappointed her so greatly, she might never look at him the same again.

And when he came upon her now in the hall, she was looking at him differently, but it was guilt. And he was grateful she’d pried into his past, because it meant that she’d come to him softened. More open to speaking with him. He had a chance to…

To be her friend.