Page 20 of Penn

“He had to run and pull her back behind the house. He was worried the car would explode, but the fire trucks showed up in time. The car was totaled, and the woman came out screaming at Mom. But she just had that blank look on her face. Didn’t even react. Even when they handcuffed her and put her in the backseat of the cop car.”

I can’t help my jaw dropping. “Your dad let your mom get arrested for it?”

“She went to prison for three years. Even after all of that, Daddy still couldn’t keep it in his pants. Probably still can’t. It’s why Mom’s been in and out of mental health facilities since she was released from prison.”

A man willing to let his wife go to prison for reacting to his cheating is a pussy. She probably shouldn’t have lit the woman’s convertible on fire—especially if it was a really nice one—but he should’ve kept his dick reserved for his wife and his wife only. A woman may have patience, but there is always a snapping point.

And her daddy found it.

“I’m sorry, Dixie.”

My childhood was normal. Boringly so. She grew up watching the most toxic of love. Gaslighting—both figuratively and literally—and the effects of being put in these situations repeatedly. Love will make people accept a lot of shit they shouldn’t.

Look at Zep and his ex-girlfriend, Chanel. She used him for sex and then left to go back to her fiancé. Every fucking time. And it destroyed him every time she left, but he didn’t stop her from coming back around because he thought he deserved it. It wasn’t until Misty showed him what love should feel like that he broke that cycle.

And the bitch has not come back.

Thank. God.

I fucking hated her. There is a point where someone has too much lip filler. And she hit that about three appointments before I last saw her. Woof.

“It’s why I feel so stupid. I get involved with my married ex. I swore I’d never be like Mom, but then I ended up being like every woman Daddy cheated with instead. I became the thing that destroyed my mother.”

Crouching in front of her, I wipe a tear sliding down her cheek. “I disagree.”

“You can’t—”

“Did those women your dad cheated with know he was married when they fucked him?”

Dixie sniffles and shrugs. “I don’t think so, but I don’t think he took the ring off.”

“I’m going to bet they knew he was married. Especially if one of them was a neighbor. There’s no way they didn’t know. That means you’re not like those women. You didn’t know, and you wouldn’t have gone into it if you had.”

“Semantics.”

“And I also disagree with those women being what destroyed your mom.”

Her brow creases as she studies me. “You don’t agree?”

“No. Your dad destroyed your mom. He’s the one who went out and jumped into bed with other women. He’s the one who lied to her and made her think she was being ridiculous. And even after seeing her light that car on fire, he didn’t stop. He did that to her.”

“You might be right, but I can’t help but think this is punishment.”

It’s my turn to look at her with confusion. “Punishment? For what? Being the other woman? Because you didn’t know—”

“I lost everything, Penn. Every single memory. All my clothing. My home. Not just for being the other woman but for what I did as a teenager.”

Some imaginary heavy object rests on my chest. “What did you do, Dixie?”

Her eyes fill with tears as she looks into my eyes. “I had an abortion. I was young and terrified, and I didn’t have anyone to help me. There was nothing else to do. I was eating every few days, and I couldn’t grow a healthy human. But I’ve regretted it every day since, and I think the universe is punishing me for it.”

I can feel the heaviness of her guilt, and I take her hand in mine. That’s a lot of weight for one person to carry. Her father’s sins. The unimaginable decision she had to make at an age when she was too young to understand the full impact of what it would mean for her when it was over and done. And now the pressure of feeling as though she deserves whatever she’s gotten.

“You didn’t deserve any of this. And it’s not the universe paying you back with terrible things,” I say.

“How do you know?”

“Because it’s not how the world works. I’ve done some terrible things, but I have you here with me, begrudgingly accepting my help. That’s not a punishment, and I deserve that before you ever will.”