Page 26 of My Heart Belongs to You

“It’s not so bad? I never expected to hear that from you.”

“I won’t act like it hasn’t taken a year for me to come to terms with it. The unexpectedness of it hurt the most. I’d invested so much in our future and it changed in an instant. I enjoy being able to make my own rules, create boundaries, and learn more about myself. Most importantly, I need to be my number one, no matter what.”

She glanced over her shoulder at me.

“You just have to figure out what single means to you. It’s freedom, honesty, and independence, to me. And these things will carry over into my next relationship.”

I scratched my jaw. “When I got with Vanessa, I understood the responsibility of being Avery’s father. I wanted to give her all the love and experiences my father gave me. Vanessa had so many insecurities about being a single mother and I did everything I could to ease them. Everything I did was for them, and our future. I never imagined a life without them. Having that taken away so easily and being left with nothing was eye-opening. I hadn’t felt like this since losing my father. I’m still figuring this shit out; I just know I never want to feel that kind of hurt again.”

Silence filled the room. Robyn turned to me with furrowed eyebrows. Her hand went to my cheek and her thumb grazed the corner of my mouth.

“My darling,” she crooned. I caught her hand before she pulled away and kissed her palm. The gesture prompted her to resume our drinks.

“Joseph says he wants to talk,” she said after a beat. “I know it’s about the status of our… situation.”

My eyebrow shot up. “What is the status?”

“I don’t know. I’m not ready for the ‘what are we doing?’ conversation.”

“Why not? You’ve been seeing him for a minute now.”

She shrugged. “Don’t laugh at me, but I want fireworks, yearning, passion... Hooking up and meeting for happy hours isn’t enough. I want real romance. The butterflies, warm and fuzzy feelings, the whole nine. I want to date, spend time building something lasting and real. He wants to skip all those steps.” I nodded my understanding.

“You want romance, huh?” I walked over to Robyn and stood behind her. My proximity to her made my heart rate pick up. I didn’t want to talk about my mom, my ex, our relationship statuses. This was all I wanted, her closeness, and warmth.

“Amongst other things,” she breathed.

“Like what?

“Consistency, transparency, and comfortability.”

I hummed. “Don’t we have those qualities in our friendship?”

“Yes, but… it’s different.”

“How?”

Robyn turned to me with her shaker in her hand. “Nadir, what are you doing?”

“I’m being transparent,” I said.

She chucked wryly. “Cute. You know how I feel about us crossing the line.”

My groin tightened and a smile played on my lips. Robyn didn’t understand how enamored I was with her or maybe she did and was doing all she could to ignore it. Either way, my feelings for her had grown from seeing her as just my friend.

“I get it, but I think we should talk at least about the possibility.”

“Why?”

“Because things have changed since we met.”

Two years ago, we met at a mixer for business owners in the hospitality and restaurant industry. I had been to the event several times over the years, so I knew almost everyone there, except her. Robyn had attended the event with her brother Starling, who was a keynote speaker at a conference sponsoring the mixer. I spotted her first, wearing a white short-sleeved blouse and tailored olive pants. She was talking to Adrienne, who I’d met at last year’s mixer. Adrienne introduced us, and from there, a friendship developed.

While I noticed her beauty first, I wasn’t interested in pursuing her. When she approached me, asking for business advice and sharing that she would be moving to Roseville soon, I gladly took her under my wing. Our business relationship morphed into a genuine friendship. It was only recently that I started to wonder about us romantically.

Robyn poured the drink into glasses then handed one to me. “What is it that you want to know, Nadir?”

My cheek lifted into a half-smile. “When we met, you said it was bittersweet.”