Page 92 of The Bargain

“God, look at those bags,” he mutters. “You’re scaring me.”

I pull away from him, a short, exasperated laugh huffing out of my chest. “You’re making me look like this!”

“What’s the point of being a rich hot girl if you’re going to be just as stressed out and exhausted as the rest of us mere mortals?” Elias says. There’s that mocking edge in his voice that tells me he’s telling a little bit of the truth, even if he’s mostly joking.

I’m tempted to say something equally mocking and derisive, but the way he’s cradling my face and gazing down at me, in the molten bronze silence of the library, disarms me completely. My heart skips a beat, my skin glowing warmth in his presence. How is it that I never feel as soft and exposed as I do around him, when he’s the one I should be the most careful around?

“I’ve not been sleeping well.” I don’t even mean to tell him the truth—I wouldn’t have told anyone but him.

Instead of sighing in pity, he smirks. “Pea under your pillow, princess?”

A pea of anxiety, maybe. An adamantine pearl of fear.

Elias pulls me into an embrace as if he can hear my thoughts, wrapping his arms around me. His strength is surprising every time I feel it, those tight, wiry muscles, that firm, engulfing grip. He speaks against my temple, low and soft.

“What could possibly be bothering a girl as strong and brave as you?”

But if I really was strong and brave, we wouldn’t be in this mess to begin with.

“You know what,” I mumble into his shoulder. “Mr North is going to let the police search the dorms.”

“So?” he replies, airy and amused. “It’s all part of the plan, no?”

I shake my head. “No. The plan is still to try and make sure you never get arrested.”

And to get you through your exams unscathed, and away from those vampiric Pearsons, and bring you to Harvard with me.

Maybe—just maybe—keep you at my side just a little bit longer.

“But if someone’s going to get arrested,” Elias says, “it’s going to be me.” He pulls away only slightly enough to look down at me, eyes dark and earnest. “That was the whole point of our deal.”

My throat feels suddenly clogged thick with things I can’t bring myself to say. I should never have made this deal. I should never have asked this of you. Why should you be punished for a crime you didn’t commit?

He has everything to lose, the niggling voice in my head says, low and warbling. He has everything to lose, and you and your brothers—nothing.

But it’s my job to protect them. It’s my job to protect Mum and Dad. Our family.

And who protects Elias?

“Stop worrying, love, alright?” Elias says, interrupting my thoughts. “I understood the terms of our bargain, and I still agreed. That was my choice. So stop feeling guilty. I can look after myself.”

But you shouldn’t have to.

My heart is tight, locked in a cage made of all the things I can’t say out loud.

36

Hungry Grave

Desdemona

Afterwards, Elias, without me even asking, walks me back to my dorm. He kisses me outside the doors, in the frosty cold, and a selfish, hungry impulse makes me pull him in through the doorway.

His eyes go wide, and he whispers, “I thought boys weren’t allow⁠—”

But I break into a run through the dimly lit corridor of the girls’ dormitory, and Elias follows me, bumping into a side table. There’s a crashing sound, but I don’t look back. Without even taking the time to check if anybody can see us, I rush us past the common room, up the stairs, and all the way to my door, which I slam behind us, heart beating fast.

For a second, we stare breathlessly at one another.