Page 228 of Toxic Kiss

“You want a beer,” he asks.

I shake my head.

“No more alcohol for me.”

They all stop and stare. Needing a second, I open the fridge and grab a root beer. Then I sit down at the table with them. No one says anything. It’s as if the room is holding its breath. It’s making me edgy.

“What did Haven do to you,” Ash asks in a conspiratorial tone, and I smirk along with the others.

“Knocked some sense into me, I guess.”

“Knocked or fucked,” Vex asks.

I smile wide. “Both.”

They laugh, and the tension eases. I run a hand down my face. I’m not even sure where to begin. But going back to where it all started—the months following Patrick’s accident—feels right.

Taking a breath, I open my mouth, and the words flow. No one interrupts me. I explain the guilt, pain, tremors, paranoia, and even rehab. Then I dive into what has been happening over the last year. The increased symptoms, self-medicating, and then the schizophrenia diagnosis, complete with hallucinations. When I reach the point where Haven picks me up and whisks me off, it feels like a weight has been lifted.

My body slumps, and I finally relax.

Eren is the first to speak. He grips my bicep.

“I’m sorry you didn’t think you could talk to us about this. I can’t imagine going through all of that alone.”

“Same man. We give you the gears, but we’re your friends first and band second. You can always come to us,” Ledger adds.

I nod, choked up with emotion.

“Are you fucking kidding?” Vex crosses his arms.

“Here we go,” I mumble, and he stands from the table, his face a dark mask of fury.

“What the hell is wrong with you?” Vex hits me with a glare.

“I just told you.”

“No, you dumb fuck. Why didn’t you just come to us?”

The guys look between us as I roll my eyes.

“Why the fuck do you think?”

Vex shakes his head and steps closer.

“Naw, man, don’t you dare put this on us. I rode your ass because I knew you were fucking lying and hiding something. Here we are, concerned and wanting to be there for you, and you kept slamming the door in our face. We had no choice but to draw our own conclusions. I’ve known your stupid ass since you moved to Cali, and you really think you couldn’t tell us what was really going on?”

I stand and face off with my friend.

“You of all people should understand.”

“Why?”

“You’re not exactly the open type. We don’t even know who you’re fucking, let alone what the hell is going on in your head.”

“Cy has a point,” Ash confirms. “You’re the last one to share. Unless we tease the shit out of you enough and you crack.”

“Fine, point taken. But I’m not dealing with a health issue,” Vex counters.