Page 212 of Vexatious Queen

They’d always reminded me of a crisp, clear winter’s day, and right now my heart was frozen.

“Ana, I have devoted my entire life to us! And you stand here with not so much as an apology for your actions? Explain this to me, because I do not understand.”

“I can’t, Eddie.”

“Why?”

With a snarl, she jerked her head out of my hand and stomped to the window, her boots crunching over the pieces of broken glass. It felt like she was crushing my heart. I took a step to chase her down, then stopped myself, not daring to touch her again for fear of doing something that I’d regret until the end of my days.

The crack in her armor appeared slowly as I locked eyes with her reflection. I refused to go to her, to look away, to take my next breath. She eventually turned to face me, and for the first time since she’d marched into the dining hall, I took her in fully. She was dressed in black like a dark assassin. And maybe she was one, because it sure as hell felt like she’d torn my soul from my body.

“I needed to do this on my own,” she finally said, her voice firm, but the chill was gone.

“Do what? Take down your father?”

“Yes.”

Ana took a step forward. She sounded desperate for me to understand, but I wasn’t sure I could.

“I had to crush his empire,” she said, and held her hand out to me. “We were never going to be safe until I cut off the head of the snake and took over once and for all.”

She lowered her arm, and I could see the exhaustion creeping over her.

“Everyone who helped him, funded him, and conspired with him they are almost all dead. I wanted them to pay, and they did. I have their blood on my hands. But it doesn’t stop with my father. Everyone who ever caused us pain must die. Lawrence, Christov, and anyone who has been working with them. The Ivankov family is no more, and their accounts have been wiped clean. He has nowhere to run.”

I shook my head.

“We could’ve done it together. He hurt us both, or do you not remember?”

“Of course, I remember, Eddie. I know what it has cost you to be with me. What you’ve endured at my family’s hands, and then—mine. It broke my heart. I have thought about this for years.”

“Then, why? Tell me why, when I would’ve protected you with my life. I would’ve walked through the bowels of hell, marched into a line of fire, anything to keep you safe. To keep us together. To be a family. Why?”

“I didn’t want you protecting me. I didn’t want you sacrificing yourself again. And I couldn’t risk losing you. I had seventeen years with our daughter—she deserved the rest of her life with you, and you with her. We couldn’t both be at war. So, I chose myself. I did what had to be done.”

She marched up to me, so we were no more than a few inches away, her eyes burning into mine.

“My entire life has been held in the hands of men. My mind, my wealth, my decisions, my body. I buried it all. I pushed it down and thought of you and Ren, and that was the only thing that ever got me through.”

Without thinking, I reached up and traced one finger down her face.

“I’ve never been like that with you. I’ve never tried to control you.”

Ana grabbed my hand and kissed my palm, then held it to her cheek. A single tear fell from my eye. Not because I didn’t want to cry, but because I’d done so much of it that I’d run out years ago. All of my pain was in that one tiny drop.

“I know. Don’t you think I wanted nothing more than to fly to Italy, knock on your door, and never leave your arms? But I couldn’t allow myself to be trapped in another cage of complacency.”

“What does that mean?”

I pulled my hand away and stepped back, but she followed me, gripping my shirt in her fists.

“No matter how beautiful and tempting that thought was, they were going to come for us. It was inevitable, and once more we would both be in the line of fire and so would our daughter.”

Ana looked up at the ceiling and closed her eyes. Tears trickled down her cheeks, and I wanted nothing more than to wrap her in my arms and never let go. But I held firm.

“I needed to protect myself. I needed to take back all that had been stolen from me. I needed to become the queen and yank the crown off my father’s head and crush it beneath my boot. Yes, it would’ve been far easier to let you handle it, but I’m done letting others dictate my life. Even you. Even when you mean the best. Even if you do it out of love.”

“So, all of this was because of fear and pride? You devastated our daughter and crushed my heart over that? I never took you to be so selfish, but I guess I was wrong.”