Page 179 of Vexatious Queen

I locked eyes with her.

“No, I can’t, and you’re right. But Ren, you do know that I feel the same way about you, too, don’t you?”

Her cheeks blushed a soft rose, and she turned away. Gripping her chin in my fingers, I made her look at me again.

“Ren…please tell me that I haven’t been so remiss that you don’t know how I feel about you?”

“I do.”

“Then what is it? Something is wrong,” I said, searching her face.

“It’s the other way around. I feel like I’m not there for you guys. Like, no matter how hard I try, I can never be there for all of you the way you need or deserve. I hate that I’ve had to put you all on a schedule, it just…I don’t know. Trying to balance everyone feels like a very complicated juggling act. I feel like I’m dropping the balls all the time.”

She pointed at me.

“Don’t, I know what that sounded like.”

“You’re not dropping anything,” I said, smiling. “I’ve never seen someone work so damn hard to make everyone else happy.”

“You mean that?”

“Yes, and trust me, I would say something if I thought you were failing in any way. This is me after all.”

Ren’s face lit up.

“You’re right, you would. Promise me that you’ll never change. That you’ll always be brutally honest with me.”

“Call you out on every little thing you can do better? Always,” I teased, but Ren smiled like I’d said the sweetest thing.

Leaning in, she kissed me. Her lips were soft and warm and offered far more comfort and love than she might ever realize. I gave in to it, my walls crumbling at her feet.

“I’ll be right back,” I whispered, and grabbed my keys.

“Where are you going?”

I smirked as I jogged down the stairs. I was nearly positive that everyone had left, but I wasn’t taking any chances. The office and back rooms were all locked, and no one lingered among the shelves. If they had been, I would’ve shoved them out the door. I locked up, dimmed the lights, and went back up to Ren.

She put her laptop in her bag and zipped it up before looking at me. Her hand stilled as she reached for the open books she’d been reading.

“Are we leaving?”

Shaking my head, I took her outstretched hand and twirled her in a circle. The sound of her laughter made my heart beat faster. Rocking her gently back and forth, we danced in the silence, under the low light with nothing but books as our witnesses.

“What’s gotten into you,” she asked, smiling.

“Do you not like it?”

“Oh no, I like.”

Ren linked her hands behind my neck as we continued to sway.

“Good, because I’ve decided that I need to let go of all the old plans in my head. They have been clinging to me like ghosts, and I want to lean into living in the moment.”

“Like dancing when no one is watching?”

“Exactly.”

“Interesting. As long as you don’t expect me to participate in a flash mob, I’m all for it,” Ren said, making me laugh.