Page 80 of Queen’s Gambit

“Why? What happened?”

“He is furious with your father and has informed me that, since Vadin stabbed us in the back, I need to show strength with a different union. I must choose a wife.”

Ana covered her mouth. “I hate this.”

“I don’t want to marry anyone else, Ana. I could never love them.”

I smoothed back her hair, but she shook her head.

“No, you should.”

“What? Why,” I asked, horrified by the suggestion.

“I’m going to get away from Christov, but it will take time, planning, and allies. In the meantime, you must do whatever it takes to become a Don of Dons like you planned. We need to be strong enough that he can’t retaliate once I leave.”

“That feels like a betrayal,” I said as Ana cupped my face, kissing me.

I groaned as she pressed her luscious body up against mine, the feel of her short-circuiting logical thought.

“It’s not a betrayal. It’s survival until we can be together. Pick someone who only wants you for a business merger, not love.”

“Fuck,” I growled and stepped back, running my hand through my hair. “I’ll still be expected to produce an heir. I’ll have to touch someone else. I can’t do that, Ana. I can’t marry someone that I’ll never love. It’s not in me.”

Ana untied her cloak and tossed it on the couch before putting her hands on her hips. She’d never looked more stunning as she lifted her head high, the strength in her eyes shining through.

“Eddie….”

“No, Ana. It makes me sick to think about it.”

“Eddie, look at me.”

If I looked at her, I’d cave, and everything about this felt wrong. My eyes lifted to hers despite all of that because even with what she was asking of me, I couldn’t deny her.

“Neither of us wants this. Do you honestly believe that Christov will be content to marry but never touch me?” My hands balled into fists. “You think I want that? That I want a single finger on me, let alone….” She crossed her arms and looked away. “No, I don’t. The only man I’ve ever wanted is you, but we are out of options until I can escape.”

Stepping forward, I placed my finger on her lips. I was going to throw the table out the window if she mentioned Christov touching her again.

“Please don’t say any more. I already want to kill him. If you put more thoughts in my head…I’ll hunt him down and do just that,” I growled.

“Eddie, I…I have an idea. For it to work, you need to act as if you’ve moved on, and please, lord forgive me for being so selfish, but I won’t feel so guilty if you have a life.”

“Even if I hate her, and it’s all a lie?”

Ana let out the most adorably frustrated growl, and I knew exactly how she felt. Every emotion a person could feel swirled in the air around us. We were both walking a very dangerous ledge.

“I don’t know. I don’t want you in a loveless, hate-filled relationship. But…the reality is that no matter how much we plan, I may never be able to escape. Are you going spend your life pining for me? Will you forgo a family, an heir, power, and wealth? All on the hope that I can run when the time comes?”

“I don’t need a marriage to solidify my position, no matter what my father says. And I’ll pine for you, married or not. You are the only woman I will ever want, and a contract won’t change that.”

“Eddie, please consider it.”

All this arguing was getting us nowhere. I crossed my arms, not wanting to spend what might be our only night together bickering.

“I’ll consider it, Ana. And…I know you’ll…be forced to…to….”

The words tasted vile in my mouth, and all I wanted at this moment was to wrap my hands around Lawrence’s neck. This started with him. He was the one to blame for putting Ana in Christov’s line of fire.

“What I’m trying to say is that I’ll still love you no matter what. You must know that there is nothing in this world that would make me love you less or think less of you…it would never happen.”