Page 52 of Intolerable Bishop

The devil had taken up shop in my brain with a marching band and a chalkboard that he was gleefully scraping his nails down. I was also pretty sure he decided to shit in my mouth. Everything hurt, and wherever I was lying was cold and hard. Forcing my eyes open a crack, I tried to make sense of what I was staring at. This should have been easy, but my brain wasn’t having anything to do with thinking.

Smacking my lips together, I could taste remnants of the different alcohols I’d consumed, and my stomach rolled. I stopped moving or even breathing as I waited to see if I was going to throw up. It felt like I was a small animal hiding in the grass, praying that if I didn’t move, the predator would move along.

“You’re alive, that’s a good start.”

I winced at the sound of Liam’s voice. “Shh,” I said, and then regretted it as it echoed in my head. That was all my stomach needed for it to decide that playing dead wasn’t in the cards. I sat up straight and went to get up to run for the bathroom, only to realize that I was already there. Grabbing the toilet, I threw up, my stomach trying to turn itself inside out.

“Fucking hell,” I grumbled and slumped over, not even caring that my cheek was on the seat as long as the room stopped swimming and my stomach chilled the fuck out. I closed my eyes, wanting Liam to shoot me.

“Okay, so I may have spoken too soon. You’re only partially alive,” Liam snorted, an arrogance in his voice that I was going to pummel out of him the moment I could move.

“Here you go.” The tink of a glass hitting the tub made me cringe like a giant crushing a building beside my head.

“No more alcohol,” I mumbled, knowing that I sounded pathetic. Forcing my face off the porcelain god, I was thankful when Liam flushed the toilet. He leaned against the sink, staring down at me. I had to hold my arm up to block out the lights of a thousand knives to look at him. “And can you turn off the lights?”

“First, that’s not alcohol. It’s a special hangover concoction, and before you say you don’t want it, I will force it down your throat, so don’t test me. Second, that bright light is called sunshine.” I groaned and looked at the greyish-green drink. “You’re the one always saying you want to be healthy.”

“Fuck you. There is an edict to throwing someone’s words back in their face, and you’re crossing a line,” I grumbled but picked up the glass and sniffed it. I covered my mouth and swallowed to keep from puking again. “What the hell is that? It smells like dirty socks and rotten broccoli.”

“That’s because it is. I thought it would be entertaining to squeeze out the sweat from my gym socks and throw it in a blender with all the rotten food in the house. I mean, what better way to feel better?”

I glared up at his sarcastic ass but plugged my nose and chugged the liquid down. If Liam wanted to kill me, there were far easier ways.

My stomach gurgled as I set the glass aside and waited like I was Alice in Wonderland, wondering if I was going to shrink or grow. I would be happy with just not feeling like death warmed over.

“What time is it,” I asked when I was certain the home remedy was going to stay put.

Liam looked at his phone. “Twelve forty-five. You’ve been passed out for six hours. You started to puke around four, and I’ve been doctoring your sorry ass for the rest of that time, so you owe me big time.”

“Fuck…I…I don’t remember how I got here. Did I drive?”

“Yeah.”

I rubbed my face. “Shit.” Laying my head back on the wall, I tried to remember anything past going home, raiding my father’s bar, and taking a bottle up to my room to drink. After that, it was spotty. “Did I tell you anything?”

“Oh yeah, I got the full rundown. Multiple times, and you forced me to stare at that image of your father, so you’re lucky I didn’t drown you in the toilet rather than help you.”

My head lolled to the side. “Thanks, man. You’re a good friend.”

“Yeah, yeah. Look, while you were taking your inebriated nap, Theo called…Ren’s house was attacked. Completely shot up, they barely made it out alive.”

That woke my muddy brain. “Who did it?”

He shook his head. “No clue, but Theo says he needs to speak to you as soon as they get back. They aren’t flying, so they won’t get in until sometime tomorrow.”

“Fuck me. I shouldn’t have let them go. I should’ve ordered them all to stay here.” I braced my hand on the tub to help me stand. Liam stepped forward, but I waved him off.

“Please, like you’d be able to keep Ren here if she decided to go. She doesn’t seem to like orders very much,” Liam said, and I snorted as I staggered to the sink.

“You noticed that, too?” Turning on the taps, I washed my face with the cold water and grabbed the tube of toothpaste. I was over at Liam’s so much that I had my own toothbrush here, which would seem odd to anyone outside of our circle, but we crashed at each other’s houses so much they were like second homes.

“Hard not to notice. Just like how I notice the way you look at her.”

I glared at him as I brushed my teeth. “Don’t fucking start in on that shit with me when I’m hungover. I’m not liable for shooting you.”

“I already took your gun, so good luck.” He smirked at me, and I glared at him. Then, I brushed my teeth again just because. I really needed to shower, but wobbling on a slippery surface seemed like a bad idea.

“Do they need any help?”