Page 1 of Intolerable Bishop

MAY 13 – SATURDAY 10:13 AM

Theo

Why the hell did I have to go on this trip? Nash and his brilliant ideas. Yes, I understood that Ren needed protecting, but why was it us protecting her? When had this responsibility dropped into our laps? I was going to miss two races, and I had to cancel the advanced law class I’d signed up for so that I could intern at my dad’s firm right after graduation. Of course, my dad said I was hired no matter what, but that was totally beside the point.

“Oh shit, I’m sorry,” a random woman said as her toddler crashed into my legs. I looked down at the pint-sized human and couldn’t imagine myself that small or that disgusting. No way would I have had food smeared all over my face and something sticky on my hands.

“Please have it let go,” I said, as she pulled on her child, but it refused to un-fist my jeans. Great, now I’d need to throw these out.

I sucked in an annoyed and steadying breath as she pried the small fists off of me, but that only triggered mass hysteria as the child screamed and kicked, getting me in the shin.

“Oh, dear lord. I’m so, so sorry,” she said, continuing her battle.

“I should have you sued,” I said to her as Blake laughed at me. Completely humiliating.

Ren shook her head at me and pulled a package of cookies out of her pocket. Squatting down, she tore it open, and like magic, the child’s head snapped in her direction. The tiny terror was a strange combination of Chucky and a T-Rex as its eyes followed the treat.

“Do you want it,” Ren asked sweetly and smiled. How did she do that? I couldn’t do that. It wasn’t in my DNA.

The toddler let go, and the mother scooped up the child in her arms as it squealed. It was definitely magic. Ren laughed and held out the cookie to one of the chubby little hands that were opening and closing like a claw on one of those arcade games. I shivered. Yuck. Me and kids were like oil and water.

“Thank you so much. This is our second transfer, and we missed our plane because of delays. She is just wiped from it all,” the woman said as the toddler snatched the cookie from Ren like a Gremlin.

Praying that the mother didn’t release it, I moved away to the other side of Myles to keep as much space between me and the two-foot menace as possible. I glanced around the busy terminal and cringed.

“Can you please explain to me one more time why we are not taking the private jet?”

“Cause this is safer,” Myles said.

I glanced at the tired and annoyed workers. “Are you sure about that?”

Myles wrapped his arm around my shoulder. “Yer just butt hurt that you don’t get to sit with me, but yer gonna have so much fun with Ivy.” Myles smiled, and I wanted to punch him in the face. Getting arrested and tossed in the airport holding was almost preferrable to the chatterbox, who was equally annoying as the child.

“Why are we bringing her again?”

“Because Ren didn’t want to leave her alone with Sheriff Morrison for the summer, not that I blame her,” Myles said, and I crossed my arms.

“Flight 2134, flying from Portland to Alberta, Canada, is now boarding.” Everyone jumped out of their seat and rushed the woman standing by the gate. This was stupid. I didn’t want to go. What the hell was I going to do all summer?

“Ya know ya pout as well as the kid. Keep it up, and Ren may give ya a cookie, too,” Myles mocked and then laughed as he walked away. Asshole.

Hefting my bag on my shoulder, I followed everyone toward the gate. There was nothing like being the odd man out. “Go to keep her safe,” Nash said. “You’ll have a good time,” he said. With who and doing what? Okay, I needed to stop thinking about it, or I was going to be miserable for the next month.

I rolled my eyes as the person handling the tickets looked at the passport, then at Blake, and then at me. I wanted to ask, “Have you never seen twins before?” But I kept my mouth shut.

“Wow, you two really look identical,” the woman said, and I cocked an eyebrow at her.

“Indeed, a true miracle,” I drawled, my lips curving up.

I stepped onto the plane, and if Myles wasn’t right behind me, I would’ve turned around and walked right back off again. This was not a plane. This was a sardine can with wings. Myles had to step in close, pushing me into Ren, but she just smiled over her shoulder at me.

“Are you excited,” she asked, her eyes practically glittering. Her enthusiasm was oozing out of her pores.

I forced myself to smile. “Oh, am I ever,” I said, and she laughed.

“You’re a horrible liar. But trust me, when we get there, you’ll have a good time,” she said, reaching her seat. Blake helped put her bag in the overhead, and I looked across the aisle at Ivy, who was sitting in the window seat with her face almost pressed up against the glass.

“Don’t lick it,” I said, and Ivy laughed like it was the funniest thing she’d ever heard. The insult obviously went over her head.