Page 49 of Protective Phlox

“Guys are guys, Savannah, and they’re going to make mistakes. But I know he loves you, which is a feat because you’re hard to love. If your sister were alive, she’d already be married and have three grandbabies for me to spoil by now.”

“That is a low blow bringing Elle into it, even for you. I’m not sure why I bother to tell you anything. You’ve never supported me or seen my side. You put me down and call me names, and I don’t understand why when I’ve been nothing but a great daughter. No matter what I do, it’s never enough, and my mistake has been thinking that at some point, you may love me. Maybe when you’re not drinking, but we both know you love your bottle more.”

“Don’t you dare talk to me like that. You’ve always been an ungrateful child.”

“No, I haven’t, and I’m not a child, not anymore. You know what’s glorious about being an adult, Mom? I don’t have to put up with you bullying me anymore.”

Without wasting another breath on her, I hit the power button on my earbud and closed my eyes. No matter what words came from my mouth, at the end of the day, I’d always held out hope that my mother would change, that she would want to do better, be better.

Over and over, I tried to get her help, covered for her, cleaned her up, or got her to bed, but there came a time when you needed to put yourself first, and I was at that point. I had to stop letting her damage my soul because she was an alcoholic.

What killed me was that when she was sober and dry for longer than a week, she was a sweet person and the mother I’d always wanted. Which, of course, was how she always drew me back into her web. But, when she was drinking, she was vile, emotionally manipulative, and narcissistic.

The definition of stupid was doing something the same way over and over and expecting a different result. I was done looking like an idiot and being treated like a punching bag for her addiction. She was a whole grown-ass adult, and it was time she looked after herself. The sad reality was that she would always blame me for everything wrong in her life as long as she continued to choose the bottle over everything else.

Throwing the rest of my clothes into my suitcase. I grabbed my purse and headed for the door to California. I had a mafia family to investigate. I was positive they had killed Alex, and I was determined to find out why and get justice for my brother.

“Idon’t want you to die, Mom. That’s why I’m getting you the best care that I can.”

She huffed and narrowed her dove-grey eyes at me, the same color as Elle’s. I couldn’t help wondering if my mother wished I was the one who had been killed and not my sister. That thought, and the emotions that accompanied it were always right under the surface, raw and ready to rip open.

“Mom, just breathe. We will get through this,” I said. She looked at me and then rolled her head away.

“No, we won’t. You’ll be here a day or two and then disappear again. Leaving me alone like you always do. I’m in the hospital, and you couldn’t even be bothered to bring my grandson to see me? I haven’t seen Cutter since he was a few months old. I bet he doesn’t even know who I am anymore.”

“Mom, please don’t be so dramatic. We talked to you every other weekend by video chat. Of course, he knows who you are. I’ve never tried to cut my son out of your life, but I couldn’t bring him with me.”

“A video chat is not the same,” she said and tugged her hand out of my hold. The same cold stare she’d given me ever since I could remember returned to her eyes. It was only like that with me. To the rest of the world, she was the warmest, funniest, and kindest person they’d ever met.

“I don’t want to fight with you. Can we just sit here and talk about your bingo night or what you plan to grow in the garden this year?”

“Please, you hate listening to me chat about my interests.” She waved her hand as if shooing me away. “I’m done talking for now, and I’m tired. Is Shawn here?”

All the hackles rose on the back of my neck. “Yes, he is. He’s out in the waiting area.”

I had to ask, unable to help myself. “When were you planning on telling me that you’d made my ex-fiancé your emergency contact? If you wanted someone close by, why not ask one of your dozens of friends? You had to choose my ex, who I never wanted to see or hear from again?”

“Please, the two of you would’ve been married by now if you hadn’t been so stubborn. That boy was the best thing to ever happen to you, and you were lucky to have him. Now look at you, an aging single mother. You’ll end up alone with a dozen cats next.” I stood from the bed, needing distance, and her eyes followed me. “It’s not right that you keep his son from him like that. You really can be a vindictive bitch when you want to be.”

I squeezed my fist so tight that my nails bit into the palm of my hand and watched as her hand shook.

“I’ve told you, time and again, Cutter is not Shawn’s son. Why will you not believe that?”

“Please, do you really expect me to believe that you got pregnant by another man a couple of weeks after you threw Shawn out into a winter storm where he could’ve frozen to death?”

“That’s what you’re worried about? Okay, you know what, this is just another fight I’m never going to win, so believe whatever you want.” I grabbed my jacket and purse from the chair. “I’ll send your not blood-related, doting, and wonderful ex-almost-son-in-law in.”

Marching for the door, I looked over my shoulder when my mother called my name. “Are you planning on getting me out of this place, or are you going to hold me captive?”

I smirked at the phrasing, considering I’d felt like a prisoner with her my entire life. “No, I’m not letting you go home. Call me all the names you want, but you’ll stay here for the week. I’ll come back to say goodbye before I leave town.”

“Where are you living? Are you not moving back?”

“I’m not talking to you about this right now.” Walking out before I smothered her to death, I found Shawn sitting right in the empty waiting area. He was staring at Goran like the man was going to leap across the open space between them and kill him. Guards lingered in every corner, hands neatly folded in front of them. Getting used to this was going to be difficult.

Nathan had, at some point, decided that it would be best if he purchased the entire floor for the week while I was here, so now my mother was completely alone other than the two nurses personally assigned to her.

He really did love going above and beyond to the point of ridiculousness. Did he really think the little eighty-year-old that would’ve been across the hall was going to jump out of bed and turn into an assassin?