Page 66 of Burn Me Down

“Beck?”

“Are you surprised that I called or that I’m on my phone?” Even though it felt like we were standing on either side of canyon with a wide, deep drop between us, she was my person and the one I called whenever I was upset. I couldn’t tell her about the girl but hearing her voice made me feel better. And, I needed to know if she called Jacobs. It hurt to think she’d be so cruel, but I needed to know.

“Both, actually. After last night, I wasn’t sure if you would want to talk to me again this soon and…well, we both know that you didn’t have your phone so.” There was a hint of annoyance in her tone, but I let it go.

“I wasn’t sure if I wanted to talk this soon either. I feel like you’re always going to hate my decision and you refuse to see anyone else’s side, but that’s not why I called.”

“Then why did you call?” She was all business like she was talking to one of the white shirts at her work, and I hated it. I hated this coldness between us, but this was not an easy situation to just choose sides, and I was squarely in the middle.

“I’m calling because when I got to my apartment this morning, there was a Detective Jacobs there, and he said you called him.”

“And you think I called him last night after I said I wouldn’t?”

“Honestly, Vi, I don’t know what to think. That’s why I’m calling you.” I could feel her annoyance on the other end of the line.

“No, I didn’t call him last night. I called him when you went missing, and I thought Derek had you and was torturing you and planned on killing you. Was that the only reason you called?”

I leaned against the lunchroom wall and stared at the clock. I wanted to say no, I just wanted to hear your voice, but I didn’t. “Yeah, I guess it is.”

“Okay then, have a good day.”

“Just so you know…I still love you,” I said and hit end on the phone as tears filled my eyes. My heart hurt now on top of everything else, and I just wanted to go home and curl up in a ball under the comforter and cry.

My phone dinged, and I wiped away the tears as I opened the message.

V: I love you, too

A tiny flicker of hope burned in my chest at the sight of those four words. I hearted the message and put my phone in my pocket.

Stepping out of the lunchroom, I wandered down the hall and tried to get my head screwed on straight so that I could focus on the next round of patients that needed me.

“Beck,” a voice growled low, and my body instantly heated as I shivered and looked around. The storage room door was open, but the light was off, making it black inside. I could ignore Derek and walk on, but he’d taken a huge risk coming into a hospital with cameras everywhere. “Please.”

Looking around, no one else was in the hallway. I walked into the dark storage room, and the door closed behind me, but it was the click of the lock that had my heart hammering. Warm arms circled my waist, and my lungs forgot how to work as Derek leaned close to my ear, his cheek brushing mine.

“Mmm, you smell so fucking good.”

I reminded myself that there was a naked woman in the house this morning and straightened my back, trying to come off tough and not show that his touch made me want to cave. I’d been walked on so many times. I couldn’t do it again. Derek held more power over me than anyone else ever had, and if I just swept this under the rug, then at some point, he’d crush my heart, and I had no one to blame but myself.

“Is that why you are here? To tell me I smell good?”

“No, but you do, and you’re distracting.” My lip twitched, and I was happy he couldn’t see me. “I came to apologize for Ava and to explain who she is. She is not a girlfriend or fuck buddy or anything else.”

“Then why was she naked?”

“Because when she arrived, we were, and in her mind, that meant she was supposed to be as well. Ava had some sort of trauma. She hides inside a shell of who she was, like she’s trapped in a partially childlike state but also knows everything that is going on and lives out fantasies that I can’t even figure out. She makes me feel like I’m totally sane, so that should tell you everything, but she didn’t mean you, me or us harm.”

I ran through the memory of her running across the room and hugging me, then leaping on Derek like she was a kid. She wouldn’t let go, and even how she talked was innocent. I was kicking myself that I’d been too emotional to pick up on the signs. I should have.

“I swear to you that I’ve never been interested in Ava like that. We’ve never had a thing, not even once, and she tends to get naked randomly.”

“How did you two meet?”

“Oh boy. I was doing a job for Chase, and she was roasting marshmallows over a smoldering body.”

“Yup, that is not what I expected to hear,” I said and pinched the bridge of my nose. “Oddly, it’s not the weirdest thing to be said to me either.” What the fuck had I gotten into?

“She spotted me in the crowd and somehow knew that I started the fire. Ava gave me the nickname Dragon. She said that I was the dragon who started the fire, and it spread to the MC. I guess you can say Ava forced herself into my life that night and pops up randomly for different reasons. I may not see her again for months, and she could be mowing my lawn or feeding alligators out of a pink lunch box and putting bows on their necks. I never know what is going to happen when she is around. Then again, I don’t think anyone does. She knows the guys at the MC, though, and that’s why she came over. I forgot my lighter on the table, and long story short, she returned it to me.”