Page 58 of Burn Me Down

“I’m not asking you to sweep what Derek did under the rug. I get that you don’t like Derek, and I understand why you wouldn’t want him in your life. But this is my life, and I see the man he would’ve become given the opportunity. Call me crazy, I don’t care. But I’m going to stay by his side, and I’d rather you were with me. If you can’t support me, then I guess our friendship has been one-sided all these years.”

“Um…is this a good time to bring the next course?” I glanced up at Tanner and then at Asher and Violet.

“Sure, I guess,” I said, not sure if they were going to stay.

I need to use the bathroom,” Violet said and tossed her napkin down on the table. I pointed to the door, and she marched off.

“She’ll come around,” Asher said.

“I don’t know if she will.” I grabbed Beck’s hand as she flopped down into her chair.

“So you forgive me,” I asked Asher.

“Do I forgive you for being a murderer? No. I save people for a living. I can’t forgive you for that, but I do understand why you did what you did, which puts me in a terrible spot. I love you, Derek, I always have. I won’t turn you in, but you should know there is a detective on your trail. He found Kent and called me out to the scene to see if there was anything I could tell him about where you are.”

“I figured I’d have a whole task force by now. A single detective doesn’t seem too bad,” I said, but Asher and Beck didn’t laugh. “I’ll be careful, and thank you for not turning me in.

“Here you go, Dragon,” Tanner said, still acting like the perfect server as he sat the next round of food down and took away the empty dishes.

“Why do they call you that,” Asher asked.

“It’s a nickname. Dragons can breathe fire. What do you think I do for a motorcycle club?”

“I’ll be back,” Beck said and headed for the women’s bathroom.

I hated what this was doing to her and her friendship with Violet. I’d done so many terrible things. Despite how Beck made me feel, I didn’t know if my soul was worth saving. The last thing I wanted was to drag Beck down into the pits of hell with me.

Rebecca

“You okay?” I looked over at Derek and nodded, but I didn’t really know. I’d never fought with Vi before. Our entire lives, we’d been on the same page and were closer than blood sisters. Derek gripped my hand tighter.

“I’m not sure. I’ve never seen Vi this stubborn before, at least not when it comes to anything to do with me. She’s acting like I’m hurting her parent’s memory by choosing to be with you.”

“Did you know her parents well?”

I shook my head. “Not really. I mean, I knew them, and they were always nice to me when I stayed the night at her house, but most of the time, Vi didn’t want to be at her house and would stay at mine.”

“I shouldn’t have said that about her guilt,” Derek said, glancing at me.

I couldn’t help staring at the scar on his cheek, my eyes tracing the line, and I shivered as I pictured him fighting for his life.

“It might have been too soon, but I don’t think you’re entirely wrong. Vi and her parents fought all the time. She was boisterous and outgoing and wanted to party hard, ride dirt bikes, and drop out of school to backpack around the world. Vi hated school and was almost expelled three times for fighting. To say she and her parents didn’t get along was an understatement, but I know deep down that she loved them. There are definitely unresolved feelings, but I don’t think she is ready to face it either.”

“Beck, if you want to go back to your life before I stole you from it, then…I understand. I don’t want you fighting with Vi and losing her as your sister. I know what it’s like to lose your sibling, and I don’t wish that on you.” Derek’s jaw was clenched tight, his hand shaking. Undoing my seatbelt, I slid across the seat and cupped his face, placing a kiss on his cheek. He turned his head to me, and I captured his lips. There was a panic behind the stunning blue of his eyes, and I hated that he thought I could walk away so easily. We might not have known one another long, but it didn’t feel like that to me. Worse was the fact that he saw himself as unlovable, easy to leave, and easy to forget.

“I love that you’d offer to walk away, but I don’t want you to. From the moment I met you, I’ve felt this strong pull, a connection that I genuinely feel only comes around once in our lifetime. Vi has that with Asher, and I’m allowed to be happy. If she can’t accept who I want to be with, then I need to accept that she is not the friend I thought she was.”

Derek pulled into the house driveway, and it still felt so strange to be here. I looked at the old home that held so many memories for me, and as hard of a night as tonight was, this place reminded me that the universe worked in mysterious ways.

“Can I ask you a strange question?”

“Of course,” he said, putting the truck in park.

“When you talk about fire, it’s like it is a friend or a lover. Does fire…I mean, does it….”

“Does it turn me on?”

My cheeks flamed red, and I looked away from his eyes, which seemed to be staring through me. “Yes, that’s what I’m trying to ask.”