Page 5 of Burn Me Down

Nope, I wasn’t going to let some loser dictate how I felt about myself, but I still couldn’t look in the mirror. It hurt too much to face the insecurities that stared back.

Armed with a bottle of peroxide, I stepped into the hot spray of the shower. I couldn’t be too careful. There was no telling what was on that sidewalk. For all I knew, some drunk guy had pissed there.

Holding out my leg, I poured the peroxide on my knee and watched as it fizzed and bubbled. I repeated the process with all the other scrapes, then set it aside and got under the spray. Everything stung, and I didn’t realize I had wrenched my back or had bruises until now. It was like every part of my body was officially screaming as a reminder that if it hadn’t been for the creepy shadow, I might have been assaulted in the back of my car.

Goosebumps rose on my skin as cold spread throughout my body a moment before the tears fell. I could feel Kent’s hands on my arms and remembered the look in his eyes. The shock was wearing off, and I’d managed to keep my shit together in front of the officers, but now in the privacy of my bathroom, I let it all sink in. I saw women who were attacked every day and knew what that looked like on the other side. I held their hands, cleaned their wounds, and comforted them through intrusive photographs and rape kits. I saw the fear in their eyes and how they jumped at any sound.

Closing my eyes, I tried to let it all wash away. On the outside, I looked like I had it all together, but on the inside, I was a hot mess and felt like the water spiraling down my drain.

My phone buzzed, and I groaned. There was a good chance Vi would knock on my door if I didn’t answer her.

“Guess that’s it for my relaxing shower.” Turning off the water, I stepped out, and sure enough, Vi’s smiling face was on my screen.

“Yes, I’m alive. I was trying to have a shower,” I said, far bitchier than I intended.

“Ouch. I’m coming on too strong, aren’t I?”

I sighed and pinched the bridge of my nose. “I’m sorry, but…honestly, yes. I feel like you’re the one stalking me.”

“Wait, someone is stalking you?”

“What?” I wanted to smack myself. “No, I just meant you make me feel like that, not that someone is. Vi, I love you to bits, but fuck woman.”

“Okay, okay, I might be going overboard,” she said, and I laughed.

“You left thirty-three messages on my phone. That’s not ‘might range’ that’s ‘I need to block you’ range.”

“Asher said I was acting a little crazy.”

“Is he still breathing?”

“He was smart and said it as he gave me a bowl of my favorite ice cream.”

“Ohh, he is smart.” I smiled, wrapping a large towel around my body.

“I just had this feeling that something was wrong, and I couldn’t shake it,” Vi said.

I felt guilty for not telling her the whole story of Kent, but I didn’t want to rehash it. All I wanted was to curl up in my bed and pretend tonight never happened, and talking it over with Vi as she got riled up was not what I needed.

“Well, I’m fine. Now, I have a double tomorrow, so please, for the love of god, do not call me all day expecting an answer.” There was no way in hell I was telling her I’d booked off work. I wanted the day to myself.

“How about this? I promise not to call at all, but if you wanted to text me, I’d be very happy, and it would keep me from losing my mind.”

Shaking out my hair, I got my toothbrush ready. “Yes, that I can and will do. Now, for fucks sake, go have hot sex with your hot-ass boyfriend. That’s what I would be doing if I were you.”

Vi laughed hard. “He’s in the shower. Maybe I’ll join him.”

“Yes, please do, and have an orgasm for me as well.”

“And just like that, shit got weird.”

I snickered and could picture her horrified face. It was so much fun to get under her skin.

“Night Vi, love you.”

“Love you too, Beck.”

Hanging up the phone, I finished my night routine and smoothed cream into every square inch of my body. I felt better, and like I could take on the world again. It was amazing what a shower could do.