Page 50 of Anywhere

“For just a little while, Rhys, I want not to feel your love pressing in on me and never be able to have it,” she said, gasping for air.

Unable to stand it any longer, I stormed across the open floor and pulled her into a hug.

“I didn’t want to die. I didn’t go there to die. But when all went quiet… I wondered if it would be better if I did.”

“Dinnie say dat,” I said into the top of her head as I gripped her tighter. “Please, dinnie, ever say dat. I’ma gonna push hard to have the rules changed so ya can find yer happiness, Mari. Ya deserve ta find someone dat can love ya back with their whole heart. And if it makes me a selfish man, den so be it, but I cannie live with out ya in dis world.”

“Rhys, you’re destined for far greater things than worrying about me. You and Rook and your third are going to make your mark on this world. I cannot tell you what, but I’ve seen it. That needs to be protected.” She pulled back and looked up at me. “That’s why I don’t think I can do this. I want to, but… I can’t put that at risk.”

“I dinnie love him—not yet. Ya cannie come between somethin’ that isn’t yet established.”

“But you will, and if I fuck that up….” She sniffed and looked away.

“Aye, I will at some point, and naw, ya won’t,” I said honestly, but the words were sour on my tongue. Mari was everything I’d ever wanted, and because of who we were, we were never to be. It wasn’t fair. “I told Rook dat no matter what, I would remain loyal and go forward wit da union. Ya know I be a man of me word. Wat happens dis moment will no change dat fact. If ya no want it den fine, I’ma never gonna make ya do somethin’ dat yer no wantin’, but dinnie make yer decision tinkin’ yer gonna mess up da triad.”

A small smile graced her lips. “Good, that’s good.”

“Do ya remember when I was tryin’ ta learn how ta ride a bike for da first time?”

Mari sniffled but then giggled. “Yeah, I remember you falling on your arse over and over again.”

“Aye, and what did ya say ta me when I said I wanted ta give up?” I asked and stepped back so I could see her face more clearly.

“I said that a girl wouldn’t cry because we are made of stronger things. I was a little shit,” she said and laughed as she wiped at her face.

“Naw, ya were right. Ya’ve always been made of stronger stuff, and if not fir ya, I woulda been a whiny brat.” She rolled her eyes at me, and I grabbed her face and made her look me in the eyes. “Dinnie look away, Mari. I mean every word. Yer da reason I am da man I be now, and yer stronger than ya give yerself credit.”

“I’m sorry. I never should have tried to go there alone, and I shouldn’t have hired that witch to open the portal. All I did was create a mess for you to clean up.”

“It be fine. I’m no’ angry. I git it. I told ya I’d keep yer secret, and I’ll take it to me grave.”

She covered her mouth with her hand and closed her eyes. “I’m going to miss us so much. The thought of losing you for good hurts in every part of my body. My heart feels like it’s being ripped out. I shouldn’t say that. I shouldn’t. But I needed to get it off my chest. You are my heart, Rhys, and I want the whole world for you, but it doesn’t stop this from hurting.”

I laid my lips on her forehead and breathed in her scent. “I dinnie want to make yer life harder, but I cannie deny that I wanna take wat I can fir us tonight. If ya dinnie wanna stay, den, I’ll release da doors, and ya can go. Just tell me what ya want.”

“I don’t know if I can. I want you so bad, but all I can think is that it’s only going to make it harder tomorrow to know that tonight was all there will ever be.”

Sighing, I stepped back and nodded, even though I didn’t want to let her go. I wouldn’t force her to put herself through any more pain because of me.

“If dat’s wat ya want, I understand but ask yerself dis. Ar’ya seein’ da triad in shambles? Dat dis moment ruins it all?”

Mari crossed her arms and walked over to the door but stood staring at the wood. I waved my hand, releasing the barrier. Mari reached for the door handle, her body shaking. “I still see the triad,” she said and slowly turned to face me. “You’ve always loved me and been here for me.”

“Aye, I always ‘ave, and dat won’t be changin’. We will always be friends and allies, and ya can come ta me any time,” I said. “Ya will always own a piece of me heart.”

Grabbing the bottom of the hoodie, she pulled it and the T-shirt off in one go, dropping them to the floor. I took in the sight of her body, the way her dark hair tumbled over her shoulder, and stopped mid-waist. She was a warrior with strong legs and cut muscles but in a perfectly feminine way. I’d dreamt of seeing her like this and not forcing myself to look away. Her skin had always been fair, but tonight she looked like the moon had kissed her skin. I groaned as the desire hit like a punch to my gut.

“I know I’ll be punished for this, but I want to know what it’s like to be with a man who loves me. I’m tired of holding on to being a virgin for some mythical man. I hate the rules, and I hate what the family and the stupid triads are doing to all of us women, but I do love you, Rhys. I have since the moment we were old enough to understand the word, and if I’m going to give myself to anyone, I want it to be you.”

“Yer Da would neva punish ya,” I said, my voice rough.

“Maybe, maybe not, but either way, I don’t care, at least not right now.”

Mari moved away from the door as graceful as any dancer. Her toes were light as a feather as she stepped towards me. My mouth was dry, and I couldn’t think of a single intelligent thing to say to what she’d said while staring at her.

“I love the way you look at me,” she said as she stopped close enough to run her hands over my shoulders. “I’ve lost count how many nights I’ve dreamt of this, how many nights I snuck from my bed and came down to your room hoping to change your mind about preserving my innocence for someone else. Only the images of who you are to become kept me from raising my hand and knocking on your door.”

I shuddered as she pressed her body against mine. Her fingers traced up my neck, soft as a breath of air. “How many nights I touched myself thinking of you.”