Page 20 of Ravaged By the Dark

She knew that her mother had a problem, a disease, but it didn’t stop the pain. The knowledge didn’t make it any easier to deal with, and the fact that her mother never seemed to want to get better hurt all the more.

Why hadn’t she loved them enough to want to change?

Renee took a few deep breaths to steady herself before she turned back around. Arek was watching her closely, too closely. She couldn’t hold his steady gaze and instead smiled at J.J. as he excitedly re-enacted Arek winning him the toy. She couldn’t help thinking that to anyone watching, Arek looked like the sexiest dad in the world as he carried the massive stuffed animal under one arm and the remnants of the blue cotton candy in the other. Thoughts like that were dangerous, way, way too dangerous, and she quickly pushed them away.

As they strolled to their next adventure with J.J. leading the way, she turned her head and caught a glimpse of a man by one of the tents. She saw dark eyes glaring at her, and fear snaked up her spine. She was pretty sure she recognized him as one of Tyson’s men.

Was he really having her followed?

She didn’t think that he’d go that far, even though she’d accused him of it time and again. She stopped walking to stare at the spot, but a group of teens walked into her line of sight, and by the time they moved, the man was gone.

Arek touched her shoulder, and she jumped at his touch.

“Are you okay?” His eyes were cool as they scanned the area she’d been staring at for the man.

“Yeah, all good. Thought I saw someone I recognized is all.” She forced a smile onto her face and walked away. “Are you coming?” Renee called out as Arek stood perfectly still and examined the crowd.

She never saw the man again, and she started to wonder if her paranoia was making her see things. She slowly relaxed, not wanting the day to be ruined. The rest of the afternoon was filled with more laughter than she’d experienced in all her twenty-one years.

The nagging voice not to get too comfortable was still there, but she managed to tame it enough to enjoy this time with J.J. because it was his happiness she wanted, needed to hold onto at this moment. At least, that is what she kept telling herself.

“Nae Nae, that one?” J.J. asked as he pointed to the Ferris wheel. Renee had been hoping he would get tired before they made their way over here. She swallowed the lump in her throat as she stared up at the massive wheel. She hated heights, as in full-on panic-attack hated them.

“I did promise him the Ferris wheel,” Arek said.

“Why don’t you two go? I’m not much for heights.”

Arek grabbed her hand, and like an electric jolt had struck her body, she sucked in a sharp breath.

“No way, we’re doing this one together. Don’t worry. I’ve got you.” He smiled, and again for whatever stupid reason, she felt like he actually would protect her from any threat.

But who was going to protect her heart from him?

She bit her lip, still a little wary of the large metal wheel.

“Come on!” J.J. yelled, and she took a deep breath.

You can do this. You can do this.

She stopped resisting and let Arek lead her to the short line already filing onto the concrete to wait for a car.

“We’re together.” Arek pointed at the three of them, and the ride operator nodded, locking the gate behind them. Dread bubbled like a pit of acid up the back of her throat. She looked at the gate, her only escape route, and tried to figure out if she could leap over it.

“You’re going to be fine, remember, I’ve got you,” Arek whispered in her ear.

His breath was warm on her cheek and smelled a little like his last smoke and the spearmint gum he was chewing. He lifted his sunglasses, so those blue eyes hovered in front of hers for a moment before he stood to his full height and let them fall back into place. She grabbed for his hand, not even caring if it was inappropriate. It was the only thing that would keep her from bolting before it was their turn. Arek smiled down at her and squeezed her hand.

All too quickly, they were next, and Arek led her to the slowly moving car. He easily picked up J.J. with one arm and helped her up the two steps. The operator on the ground took the tiger and closed the small door behind them. She shivered as it locked into place, the clink of the metal loud in her ears. She shuddered harder as the car swung a little when they all slid into the bucket-like bench seat with the covered top. That was when she stopped moving any part of her body and pressed her back as hard as she could into the seat. She braced her toes against the front of the car, but it made her feel more secure. It was a false sense of security, and her brain continued to scream that if the thing fell over or flipped upside down, they were all dead. She sucked in a deep breath as every swear word mixed with prayers crossed her mind. Probably not the best combination to pray to God with, but she was going with it.

Arek nudged her arm, forcing her to look at him. “This thing reminds me of Pac-Man,” Arek said, and she gave him a small smile at the image.

“What’s Pac-Man?” J.J. asked, making Renee laugh.

“It’s a really fun, old game. We can try and find one for you to play at an arcade. They always have the best old games.”

“Really!? Can we go now?” J.J. asked.

“J.J., you’re being rude. Arek was nice enough to bring us here today. Say you’re sorry to Arek,” Renee scolded.