Page 57 of Secrets of the Six

She might not be a Wing, but she too was marked by death. We're all walking dead men, lying in wait for the day we're exposed. Let's just hope we don't succumb early. Victory is within reach; I can taste it.

"Well, well, well." Carmen turns the corner of the bar and walks toward me, wiping a glass clean with a rag. "It seems a bit early to see you, Don Rafael." She spits my alter-ego's name out like a curse. "What brings you here dressed so nicely?"

I've known Carmen Delgado long enough to read between the lines perfectly well. She doesn't want me here and rightfully so. She's angry I tortured Ines. Hell, I still toss and turn at night burdened by the memory of what I did. But I can't avoid Carmen forever and I certainly can't sweep her fury under a rug. Better to face her wrath head on than run like a whipped dog with my tail tucked between my legs.

"I am needed at the opera tonight," I say, steadying my voice and bracing for a verbal assault.

In full transparency, meeting Carmen in public is the only way to settle disagreements with her. In private, she won't hesitate to take a few well-aimed swings. She might have been plucked from the Brogratto District, but she certainly doesn't behave like the middle-class.

"How lovely." She pours a whiskey neat, my drink of choice. I expect her to shove it toward me but instead, despite her hating the burn of liquor, she downs it and slams the empty cup down in front of me. "If you are attending the opera, shouldn't you be on your way there now?"

"I should be," I nod, rooting my elbows to the bar. "But I wanted to see you first."

"See me?" She presses a hand to her chest, feigning excitement. "What could the great and powerful Don Rafael want with little ole me?"

"A bit dramatic, Carmen, don't you think?"

"Not as dramatic as I would like to be." The viciousness in her eyes spears through me and makes me feel small. She's the only person in this entire world who slightly scares me.

"I know you're upset about Ines – "

"Upset?" She interrupts, shaking her head, chuckling like a menace. "No, I'm not upset. I'm furious. So furious, Shaw had to talk me out of burning your house to the fucking ground."

I lean closer and whisper, "I can't take back what I did but I need you to know I regret it. I'm sorry."

A look of surprise flashes across her face, my apology calming the storm raging in her tiny body. "You're sorry?"

"I am. Would it please you to know I have nightmares about what I did to her?"

Silence stretches between us several seconds before she grabs a glass and pours a second serving of whiskey, this one intended for me. "Yes, it does please me to know you have nightmares." My eyes shoot up to meet hers and she continues, "It shows me you have a heart under all the muck."

"So you forgive me?"

"I'm not the one you should be begging forgiveness from." She plants her elbows on the bar, mirroring my posture. "And when you beg her to forgive you, you better be groveling on your hands and knees. I'm surprised she hasn't slit your throat for putting your hands on her."

I lift my head up toward the ceiling and groan, "Carmen – "

"How the hell did you find her anyway?" She moves on, not interested in whatever excuse I'll scrape up.

"I found her file in the Hall of Records. She looks exactly like Otero's niece and happened to be on death row." I shrug. "We needed someone to infiltrate the Murrieta circle, and a plan quickly formulated in my mind, so I went with it." I down the whiskey and place my empty glass on the counter. "Why didn't you tell me about her?"

"What do you mean?"

"You grew up together, ran the streets together. Why didn't you tell me about her when I brought you here?" I could have tried to find her, I think to myself, knowing damn well past me probably wouldn't have given two shits about searching for the thief.

She bites her lip, taking a moment to mull over her answer. "I didn't tell you about Ines because I went looking for her and couldn't find her."

"Wait." Frustration bubbles in my stomach before a frown quickly follows. "You went to the Brogratto alone? What if you – "

"Nothing happened to me, so don't get ruffled." She rolls her eyes and clicks her tongue. "I searched for her at night for a few weeks but never found her. And honestly, at the time, I didn't think you would care if I told you about her."

"If you had, I would have helped her." It hurts to think maybe that's dishonest of me to claim.

"I know that now," she sheepishly agrees. "I didn't want to press my luck. You'd rescued me from the Casa de Placer. I was afraid if I angered you, you'd send me back."

I run my fingers through my hair. The possibility I could have helped Ines years ago leaves an ache in my chest. She's been alone all this time when she didn't have to be.

Carmen reaches across the bar and rests her hand atop mine. "You can't save all of us," she whispers.