Page 8 of Never Till Now

She summons the elevator with a smirk. The doors open, and I’m not sure I’ll see her again. “Maybe I’ll see you around, Charmer. I suggest my place next time, so it’s not as echoey.” She disappears behind the closing doors without asking my name.

Yep. Yep, I’m fucked… in every way.

My mahogany desk displays stacks of paperwork, and every spreadsheet is open on my computer. I blink at the screen a few times as if that will complete all of my daily tasks. As the CFO of my family’s billion-dollar hotel chain, I feel like my job is never caught up. My mind keeps wandering to Lauren and her elusive demeanor. I want to hire somebody to get more information about her, but I know that’s wrong, considering she’s not a threat. I’ve lost too much sleep, wondering if she’s off with another man or why she is that guarded with feelings.

A nurse practitioner who doesn’t harbor feelings is one hell of an oxymoron. Her lack of reaction to my hotel penthouse was nothing more than a straight face glance around. Is she from big money too? And my place is not that echoey.

Why didn’t she want my name? Fuck, I should be thrilled about that.

My eyes rest on the family photo on the wall. It brings me back to my childhood years at our family cabin. The only simple times I’ve gotten to experience the rawness of this world. Every Christmas was spent there without talks of work or distractions. The cabin holds memories of endless board games and communication face to face. The trees rustling on plush redwood hills speak to my soul more than hills of concrete, horns, and revving engines. Our memory making became less frequent once I and my two siblings became old enough to work. I’d give all of this up to live in the past. To live in that damn quiet cabin now.

The heavy wooden door echoes as knuckles tap on the other side. My father’s head pokes in. “Do you have a minute?”

“For you, always.” I shuffle paperwork around to make room for another folder of something I’ll probably dread opening.

“We received more marketing budgets.” His aged smile meets his wrinkled eyes. “I’ve added a few things to make our hotel stand out among the rest.”

“That’s great.” I force a smile and hope he can’t see through my will to spend days chopping wood instead of chopping numbers. “You and Grandpa have a knack for putting our hotels above the others.”

“Look over this tonight if you have a chance.” The whoosh of air from the red folder drops on my desk, mimicking the sacrificial breath of how my time is spent on earth.

A pang of guilt hits under my ribs for wishing I wasn’t born into the world of wealth that many people strive for. “Of course, I will.”

“I knew I could count on you, son.” He nods and closes the door behind him.

I don’t hate my job. I’m blessed to have it. But finding meaning in something the world doesn’t need is hard to wrap my head around. It’s already late afternoon and I’m nowhere near finished with deadlines.

I refuse to cancel my class tonight. I need the stress relief. My class is one of the few things I hold myself accountable for. People pay and rely on me for a service. Gathering my work for tonight, I sigh and push back my chair. These four walls are too suffocating to concentrate. I mentally prep myself for another all-nighter before closing for the day. I walk a few blocks over to my favorite coffee shop for another espresso. I’ll sleep when I’m dead.

Chapter 4

Lauren

“I’m heading out,” I call over my shoulder to Tessa.

“Good work this week, Ren. Enjoy your days off.”

I smile as if I have any energy left to do so. I’ve worked overtime every shift, and the number of resuscitations we have had has been beyond what I saw back in my town. Tonight’s work trauma triggered thoughts toward my own womb supplier. How lucky I was to be taken by the hospital and not meet a horrible fate like others have. I don’t have the utmost expectation to find my womb supplier. After everything I’ve seen with that lifestyle, the chances of her still roaming the streets for the past twenty-four years seems unlikely. The chances of her remembering the name she gave me at the hospital or what year I was brought into the system are slim. But there are some people who do get clean.

The lump sitting in my throat grows on the cab ride home. I focus on my favorite breathing pattern to calm my anxiety as a result of this work shift. Cardio. I need to forget as much as possible. Multiple yawns take over during my shower, so I fight the sleep urge and turn the water to cold. Tessa mentioned the perfect stress relief class at the gym around the corner. Which apparently is filled with attractive men who can give stress relief. Charmer and his stupid skills have now ruined men for me. Seriously, I lost count of how many times that man had me coming. I’m annoyed with him even more than before. He and his attractive brown eyes and tall, wide frame.

The chill of the night hits me as I step onto the street. I’m brought back to this afternoon and my stomach turns as I walk the few blocks in the dark.

After registering with the front desk, I focus on the smell of rubber mats to calm my mind. The stale humidity with a hint of chlorine is faint coming down the hall. Gyms have that distinct smell about them. I walk down the hallway and turn right into the classroom, and halt. I need to turn around and leave before I’m spotted, but my mouth speaks before I can stop it.

“No, no, no. No, you can’t be here.” I grab the attention of Charmer as he turns to me with his signature sinful smirk. All six-three of him in a gray muscle tee and black shorts. The same ones he wore the other night when he—

Keep your focus, Lauren.

“You’re a stalker.” I cross my arms over my chest as he takes a bold step closer.

“I was here first, Lauren.” He says my name in a deeper part of his chest. And now, I stand here imagining what it would sound like if he growled my name while bending me over his bar counter. “I’ve called dibs for years here.”

“Ha. After today’s shift, I need this class more than you.” Is that enough to make him leave?

“Well.” He smirks, rubbing his hand on the back of his neck. “I’ll be sure to leave you breathless.” He turns and claps his hands to command the room.

He makes his way to the front of the classroom as people pipe down their conversations and give him their full attention. My body wants to melt to the floor in embarrassment. The glint in his eyes shot a clear message of how satisfied he was with my reaction. He’s the instructor? Charmer goes over the different circuits and begins a brief warm-up. I remove the baggy sweats I wore on the walk here and smile inwardly as his eyes burn through me. My short spandex shorts and a loose shirt tied in a side knot are a wicked tease for what’s underneath. What he knows he can’t touch in this current moment.