Page 43 of Never Till Now

“You’ve told me.” He stands and runs a hand through his dark hair. “What strings did you pull at Coit?” Why the sudden interest in my personal life?

“She mentioned it would be cool to watch the sunset on top of the tower.” I tap a pen over the top of my thumb. “So, we did. It was great.”

“I hope Katherine can save her ass with a new strategy, because your friend turned down the job.”

“Dad, you’re so picky about working with what your degree qualifies you for.” Which confuses the hell out of me with Emmett’s choice in philosophy. “She’s not qualified. Why would you offer her the position?”

“She took a semester of marketing in high school.” He nods with the same shit-eating grin that I use far too much myself. “You are not one to rave about people’s skills, so I take it seriously when you do.”

Honestly, I could spend the next hour raving about her other skills. Her mouth, to be specific. My father’s clearing of his throat and knuckles tapping on my desk tell me he can read my thoughts. I interlock my fingers and push my palms down to give them a stretch.

“I need to wrap up these accounts before I call it a night.” I turn back to my screen.

“Enjoy your evening.” He nods and heads out.

I skip dinner and spend the rest of the evening blowing off steam in the gym.

Chapter 13

Lauren

My phone pulls me out of my sleep an hour before my alarm should go off. “Hey, Lloyd.” If it were anyone else, I’d let it go to voice mail. “How are you?” We haven’t spoken too much since I arrived.

“Good, hon. I haven’t heard from you lately and wanted to see if San Fran is treating you right.” The chuckle in his voice is hoarse from years of smoking.

“It’s treating me really well.” Despite anyone being able to see me, I sit up and pull the sheet to cover my chest. “I’ve met a few people and I’m getting to know the ins and outs of this city.”

“I’m sure a lucky fella will sweep you off your feet in no time.” He replies with such confidence in his voice. He knew I was quiet and reserved under his roof. Boys were not a thing we ever talked about.

“I’m in no rush for that.” I keep my tone light. “How has the world been treating you the past few weeks?”

“I joined a board game group.” I smile, knowing he’ll do great since it was the only thing we really bonded over. “Heather beat me the past two weeks, so I owe her dinner.” I can hear the smile through his voice.

“Heather? Is she a new lady friend?”

“We may have an infatuation with each other. Lauren, I think I’m ready to get back out there.” It’s been years since his wife passed. The pain he went through losing her has been embedded in my mind forever.

“Why?” My voice goes quiet. “After losing Marsha, do you really want to risk losing another?” I’m sandpaper when it comes to the pain of losing someone. Loss only happens when you allow someone to weasel into your heart. I was born never knowing love. The feeling of loss will never exist to me. I don’t know how people voluntarily allow it.

“Lauren,” Lloyd takes a deep breath and I wait until he forms an answer. “I know life has thrown you in the wringer. Marsha and I were probably the only brief example of a stable relationship. But the way that played out was heart wrenching.” He clears his throat as I picture him reclining back in his corner chair like he always does while talking on the phone. “I promise one of these days you’ll have a moment. You and someone will click, and everything will change. You’ll feel it.”

I felt a shift in Coit Tower, but that could have been the higher elevation…

“Feel what, though?” I blurt out louder than intended.

“You’ll look at someone and your soul will tell you that every high with them is worth any alternative the world throws at you. Even if it’s for a moment in life, that person will complete a part of your soul.” The line goes quiet as he takes a long breath. “You won’t know how much your life needs them until… that moment.” He trails off as I watch blood stream down my thumbnail as my middle finger continues to pick the skin.

“How poetic of you.” My throat tightens, anxiety forming that I didn’t know was in me. “I’m sure I won’t ever have that moment because I’ve seen how much pain it can cause.”

“What’s life without happy moments?” Lloyd drops his voice into a parental tone I’ve never heard. “You’re young and your life is worth making memories. You deserve to share a special bond with someone. The experience will brighten your life. Trust me.”

“I have happy memories. I don’t need to feel the pain of what they could cause,” I defend.

I hear the screen door open as he sighs. “I just want you to have what you deserve from here on out. A new city can be a new life. Use it to your advantage, sweetie.” The car engine of his old green Pontiac rings through the phone. “I’m going to meet Heather. You take care and give me a call next week.”

“I will. Enjoy your day.” I end the call as my shoulders feel heavy.

I fall backward onto my pillows.