Page 30 of Tears of Gold

“Guards are calming the panic and searching the rubble. One explosion was at the east quadrant of the plaza, which is far from where we were. There’s some looting, but the greatest danger besides the blasts is hysteria and building collapses.”

His answer does little to soothe my anxiety. Royal guards discovering a human and half human wandering the streets without identification after a bomb attack spells disaster.

“They’re humans . . . Vanrey.” Easy targets for anyone, and with Ava looking as beautiful as she does today, she may as well be calling like a siren. I should have told Rita to moderate their attire. I should have done a lot of things differently.

I groan and swing myself off the bed. “Let's go to the . . . wall. If I can get c-clear of some of this interference, I may . . . be able to pinpoint h-her.” Rising makes me sway, and I wait until my head stops spinning.

“Should you even be moving?” he asks, his dry tone strongly indicating what he thinks the answer should be.

I know the correct answer too, but Ava and that damn rogue need me. I glare at him, and his lips flatten together. “May I assist?” He holds out a bare hand.

“No, you m-may . . . not.” I snap, my stutter ruining the effect. I shouldn’t snap at him when he’s trying to help, but it’s hard enough keeping my essence from disintegrating completely without fighting Vanrey over every point. If he sees the state of my qi, he’ll tie me to the bed.

I drag on the fresh clothes Sunshi laid out for me and yank gloves on, fighting more nausea. I cannot risk Vanrey seeing what made the physician turn pale over the past half hour. My qi is in tatters, and my psyche isn’t far behind, even with the medical treatment.

I really am pathetic.

Even worse, I’ve pissed Anik off, and he’ll never let it go. If I'd waited just one more minute, we would have been interrupted, and I wouldn’t have aroused his fury.

“We can't r-risk . . . bringing any guards . . . into this,” I mutter, using every trick I’ve ever learned to regulate my breathing and force my legs forward as we walk through the marble halls.

You wouldn't know the streets below are in chaos from the quiet atmosphere, broken only by the occasional whispers of servants. Somewhere in the distance, music plays. The noble families will be gathered in the throne room, feasting and dancing under chandeliers of qi lights, heedless of the bloodshed outside.

Even if they do know, my father won’t let the lives of commoners and a district on fire stop the glittering festivities. I wrap my arms around myself, willing my flesh and soul to remain intact, and walk faster.

The climb up the tower stairs nearly undoes my resolve. I long to teleport up, but I cannot waste one iota of qi right now. In fact, I’m not even sure I can use qi. A warm breeze caresses my face as I step onto the walkway, and the shrill wail of city watch alarms stings my ears. Vanrey orders the nearest guards out of our way.

Below, dark splotches in the tapestry of lights indicate power loss in the blast areas. I turn toward the plaza. Qi Lords, I hope they weren't near the east corner! Fire blazes and dark clouds of smoke choke the air even this high up. Slowly, I stretch the tangled mess of my qi and reach out. Even the slightest use has me shaking in pain.

The proximity should be close enough to sense Ava, but the interference is out of this world. The streets swim with qi sculptures, and fading sparks of power from hundreds of different power users drift through the sky. The broad network of hanging lights buzzes like a barrier in my mind. They've been hung with qi and colored through qi arts, creating a storm of magical signals.

My stomach aches, warning me I might throw up again soon. More! I have to focus harder. I brace against the stone crenelations and force my qi to stream out over the city, ignoring the sickening ripping sensation within.

There! The faintest whisper of something that could be Ava's death charm touches my awareness. It disappears before I can lock it down, and my qi unravels. I can't find the strength to try again. Ice leaks from the corners of my eyes.

I point my finger, hoping the shadows hide its trembling. “Over there, midway . . . between the docks and m-merchant lanes. I'll wait here and . . . try again in a few minutes. We'll have to try and triangulate through our p-pagers. I can't do a . . . location tracker on you right n-now.”

Vanrey eyes me suspiciously. “I'll come straight back,” he says, bowing.

“No, get them . . . home. I s-still have to meet the . . . empress.”

The shadows hide his face, but Vanrey isn't happy, judging by the twitch of his shoulders. A cool sensation ripples through me, knowing how concerned he is for me.

“They are our g-guests, Vanrey. This is . . . honorable.”

“You are risking your own life for commoners, my lord.”

I barely have the strength to argue with his choice of words, but I flash him a dark look, and my tone fills with icy wrath. “Even if it’s . . . a secret, that commoner is my l-lover.”

He flinches. “Forgive me, my lord. I’m just concerned your wellbeing is suffering.”

What does my suffering matter when Ava is in danger because of me again? “Then so be it,” I whisper.

He bows and vanishes from view, and I slide down with my back to the wall, the cold aura of stone reassuring against my trembling body. I'll rest for a few minutes and recover my strength.

At least I know she's out there.

Chapter Thirteen