Page 39 of Deadfall

I was so deep in a dissociative state, I had no idea how much time had passed, but when Sacha burst through the front door, it startled me out of it. He looked beyond furious, and his gaze darkened further when he noticed the gun I’d dropped on the floor. He stalked toward me, surrounded by the dewy smell of the forest in the morning and the coppery tang of blood, which only intensified my terror.

I cowered into the chair. “I’m sorry! I’m sorry!” I cried and dissolved into tears again.

I didn’t even know what I was apologizing for. Not listening to him? Being too afraid to defend myself? I wasn’t sure. Sacha seemed to realize he needed to tread carefully because I watched his anger soften into a neutral expression. He knelt in front of the chair and picked up the gun which he quickly stashed in his belt. I watched him warily, my hands clutched against my chest to stop them from shaking.

“We need to talk about what happened,” he said firmly.

I closed my eyes. That was the last thing I wanted to do.

“I killed—one of them,” I stuttered.

“I know, I saw,” Sacha answered patiently. “But you let the other two go. Why?”

I opened my eyes. “I was scared,” I whispered.

The intensity that radiated off him was visceral and heavy. His jaw tightened and his knuckles were white where they gripped the armrest on either side.

“Did they touch you?”

I showed up naked, of course he had to know they touched me. But, I couldn’t get the words out. I stared at him and he repeated the question.

“Emersyn, did they touch you?” He asked, firmer this time.

My lip quivered, but I bravely kept my eyes open and nodded once. A darkness rolled over Sacha that caused goosebumps to break out across my skin. I shrank back against the chair again, suddenly very aware of how dangerous a man Sacha actually was.

“Then, I’ll ask you again, why did you let the other two live?”

“I wasn’t–wasn’t sure if I–I could do it,” I stumbled over the words. “And I–I didn’t want–them to keep–touching me.” By the time I managed to get the words out, they were nothing more than gasps of air around breathless sobs.

Sacha abruptly surged to his feet and paced the room. He glared at his surroundings, but I doubt that’s what he saw. I think he envisioned those men, because the violence bled off of him in waves. He slammed his fist abruptly into the wall and turned to face me.

“Damnit, girl!” I jumped. “After everything I taught you—” He cut off his words and turned his back.

Tears ran down my cheeks. “I’m sorry—”

“No,” Sacha barked. He stalked back over. “Stop apologizing to me. Apologize to yourself.”

He must have realized he was being too aggressive in my distraught state because he closed his eyes and took several steady breaths before he got back down onto his haunches and tried again.

“You’ve come such a long way from that lost little girl I found in the woods. Don’t let yourself go back to that place. Are you really going to let these men undo everything you’ve been working toward all these years?”

“I froze—I couldn’t do anything,” I whispered.

Sacha’s jaw tensed. “I’ve been too easy on you then. We’ll fix that.”

“I don’t know what to do,” I whimpered.

“Yes, you do—”

“No! I’m weak, I’m—”

Sacha’s eyes narrowed and he dragged my hands away from my throat. He gripped them hard between his own.

“Don’t you fucking dare say those words. Ever. Again,” he growled. “Am I clear?” The look in his eyes scared me into silence, but I gave a jerk of a nod. “Now, think, girl. What are you going to do?”

“What can I do? They–they’ll be long gone now—”

“I disabled their vehicle,” Sacha said, flatly.