Page 75 of I Wish He Would

COOPER

What he said.

ME

Gotta run, we’re going on a group hike. I’ll report back after.

HAYDEN

Stay away from cliffsides!

I should’ve never followed my stupid, misguided heart. I just laid everything bare for Austin. I told him that I wanted him to kiss me, that I wanted this thing that’s been brewing between us.

I’m at war with myself, trying to decipher what happened. My head is reminding me that, immediately after the kiss, he asked if Bradley and Bianca saw. It was all for show. He was only doing his job to convince them we were dating—just like he did at the event the night we met.

But my heart…my heart is reminding me of what Austin said before the kiss. How he asked me with such gentle tenderness what I wanted and then told me that he wanted me. That admission from him was the glimmer of hope I needed that he might have feelings for me too. Because those words weren’t meant for Bianca, Bradley, or anyone else to hear. They were for me. For us.

It doesn’t explain why his first question after that kiss was if the people we originally were putting on a ruse for saw, though. His actions and words aren’t matching up, and it feels like there’s no going back to how things were before. We’re stuck in this after-kiss limbo, and I don’t know which to believe: my head or my heart.

My chest aches wondering if we ruined the friendship we’ve spent years building with an impulsive kiss. Even an hour later my body is still buzzing like the kiss was an electric shock to the system. It’s a blessing and a curse, getting to remember every press of his mouth to mine and the feel of his hand on my legs, on my jaw, in my hair, but knowing I may never experience it again.

A part of me wants to analyze everything with my besties…but what am I supposed to tell them? Oh, I’m not talking to Rhett anymore because I have feelings for Austin. And by the way, Austin and I made out, but joke’s on me because it might’ve been all for show, and now my heart’s hurting even though I never admitted to y’all that I have feelings for my best guy friend. Surprise!

Right now, I’m just thankful my nephews have attached themselves to Austin like little monkeys, keeping him occupied while we wait for everyone to gather outside the resort to head out for the group hike. I’m wishing on every palm tree that Crew and Rhys keep him distracted enough that I can figure out what I’m feeling, figure out if there’s anything left that needs to be said to Austin without losing the man who has become such an important part of my life.

The palm trees must work better than birthday candles and stars for wishes because I’m able to stick between my mom and sister for the hike up to Signal Peak, stopping a few times for Maddy to catch her breath. She’s my real-life hero hiking while seven months pregnant.

“I need to pee!” Crew shouts.

I turn, filled with dread as I watch Austin hand Crew over to Elliott.

My sister approaches Austin, and I shoot her a wide-eyed look, trying to let her know I want her to stay with me. She dips her head in acknowledgment. “Austin, do you mind keeping Rhys company until Elliott gets back?”

I feel Austin staring at me out of my peripheral vision, but thankfully he’s not one to deny a pregnant woman’s wishes. “Of course not.”

Rhys squeals in delight. “Oh-shuh.”

“Yeah, let’s go see the ocean, buddy.”

I feel Austin glance at me once more before walking closer to the edge. I move to the opposite side with Maddy, taking in the panoramic view of the island surrounded by the stunning Caribbean water. “Glad our sister-telepathy is still intact.”

“I think it was your crazy eyes more than telepathy.” She bumps my hip with hers. “What’s going on?”

“My head and my heart are in an intense battle.”

Maddy laughs. “Which one is coming out the victor?”

“Honestly, I have no clue.” I glance around, making sure no one is within earshot. “Don’t freak out, but we kissed,” I whisper.

She raises her eyebrows and holds a hand over her mouth, hiding her smile. “And?”

“It was amazing. Like a hotter-than-the-movies kind of kiss.”

“When?” My sister rocks on her feet. “Where?”

“This morning after the workout class we basically got kicked out of.” She starts to open her mouth in question, and I shake my head. “It’s not worth explaining. But we ran down to the beach, and Austin sort of picked me up and ran into the ocean. And then we were all close, and he asked me what I wanted.”

She squeezes my arm. “What did you tell him?”