Page 5 of I Wish He Would

Are you home tonight?

He texts back almost instantly.

AUSTIN

Just pulled cookies out of the oven.

ME

You’re the most wonderful human I’ve ever met!

AUSTIN

I’d beg to differ.

ME

You bake.

You’re a pro athlete.

Dare I keep going?

AUSTIN

Only if you want to inflate my ego to the point where I can’t fit in the dugout.

ME

Impossible.

You’re too humble for that.

AUSTIN

And you think too highly of me.

ME

Not a chance.

AUSTIN

Since you’re texting me when you’re supposed to be on a date, I’m guessing it’s safe to assume it’s not going well?

ME

That’s an understatement.

AUSTIN

Do you need an out?

Just give me the signal and I’ll call and tell you there’s a gas leak at your house. Or your nonexistent beloved childhood guinea pig has passed away.

ME

Nooo, not Squeakers.