Page 23 of Risking it All

I took a breath as I shifted my body away from him. I had no idea who he was or who he was connected to. For all I knew, my father and The Force had a bounty on my head by now. I couldn’t risk telling him who I really was.

“You don’t have to tell me your real name. I just need to know how I can help you, mama.”

“You can’t, Sawyer. I’m fresh out of a fucked-up situation with nowhere to go and nobody that I can trust. The best thing you can do for me and you both is forget you ever met me.”

“I can’t do that, mama. Even if I wanted to forget you, I couldn’t.”

“Please, just forget about last night and the stupid mistake I made. I promise I won’t do anything else to hurt myself. You can let yourself off the hook.”

“I’m not on the hook. I just want to be here for you.”

“You’ve already done more than enough by staying here. I don’t even know how long I’ve been here.”

“Six hours. I had to tell them that I was your fiancé so I could stay with you and get updates. My security team hasn’t been able to find any information on you. I wanted to alert your next of kin.”

My head snapped back to him. “I don’t want them finding me, Sawyer. I don’t need anyone to know where I am.”

He nodded. “I gathered that. That’s why I refrained from running your picture through the database. I didn’t want to raise any red flags, but I need you to tell me how to help you.”

“I don’t need your help, Sawyer.”

“What I saw this morning tells me otherwise. The look on your face when I mentioned finding your next of kin confirmed it. Let me protect you from whatever is making you feel like there’s no hope for you.”

“There are some things that even you can’t protect me from. Just go while you still can.”

He scoffed as he turned around and scanned the room. Apparently, my words meant nothing. He ignored them and pulled the chair next to the wall closer to the bed. Once he was seated, he picked up my hand and kissed the back of it.

“I’m not leaving you, mama.”

I rolled my eyes to the ceiling as I covered my face with both hands. “This is so embarrassing. The one thing to free me from this fucked-up life, and I can’t even do that right.”

“Z.”

Hearing him say that made me freeze. For a terrifying few seconds, I wondered how he knew who I was. Before I could question how he knew my name, I remembered the letter.

“I stayed all morning long, waiting to make sure you were OK. I had one of the security officers bring you a change of clothes and some supplies for when they’re ready to discharge you. I’m not in a hurry to get anywhere. My only concern is being here for you until I determine that you no longer need me. The decision you made is a clear indication that you’re not thinking straight, so I’m not taking your advice on the matter. You can’t dismiss me. I’ll decide when I need to go.”

“Why are you doing this?” My voice cracked, only further annoying me. He would never leave if I started crying.

Sawyer didn’t answer immediately. He just stared at me for a while like he was trying to come up with a good response. When I thought he wasn’t going to say anything, he finally spoke.

“No one should have to be alone when they’re this hopeless. No one should have to be alone if they don’t have to.”

Tears rushed down my cheeks, and there was no use in trying to stop them anymore.

“I’m sorry.”

“Stop apologizing, mama.”

“I can’t. I fucked up so bad. My life is so broken. I don’t know how I can ever fix things. I can’t go back home. I can’t go back to work. I just wanted to give up. I’ve felt like that before, but lately, it’s so strong I don’t know what else I can do besides give up.”

“Sometimes, life hits hard. It’s understandable to feel like there’s nothing left to fight for. Just know that I’m here to help you until you feel strong enough to fight on your own.”

“That’s good for now, but once I leave this hospital, I don’t have anywhere to go.”

“You can stay at the hotel as long as you need to.”

“Sawyer, you just said yourself you don’t even know my name. I can’t ask you to go out of your way for me any more than you already have.”