Page 49 of The Marriage Mistake

“Right,” I said, then pulled out my phone and googled a picture of the female reproductive system. This felt like more solid ground. Information. Facts. Nothing so messy as emotions or past traumas. “Every month or so, your body will release an egg from here.”

“The ovary. I learned about it in health class.”

“Great!” My voice sounded chipper and false, and I toned it down at Darby’s glare. I nodded and said, “So you know that over the course of your menstrual cycle, your body prepares for that egg to be fertilized.”

Darby’s lip curled in revulsion.

I soldiered on. “The lining of your uterus thickens, and a bunch of other processes happen. If the egg doesn’t become fertilized, and you don’t become pregnant⁠—”

“Ohemgee! Gross! I don’t want to have a baby!”

I winced. Darby had pulled away from me and was looking at me with horror in her eyes. I gave her a tight smile, absolutely sure that I was making a mess of this. “Yeah, well, that’s good. Because you’re young. But you know, your body goes through puberty, and these are things that happen. Biologically.”

“I don’t want this!” she cried. “I just want things to go back to normal.”

I took a breath, ready to launch into a speech about how menstruation was normal and nothing to be ashamed of. All the things I’d told myself for years when I couldn’t quite get rid of the guilt and shame and disgust that my first period had instilled in me.

But I paused, seeing Darby shrink away from me, her eyes on my phone screen and the diagram I’d used as a helpful aid. Was I traumatizing her? Was I making things worse?

I was so not cut out to be a parent. What was I thinking? How did I ever decide that this was the best path for me in life? Why had I agreed to come in here like I could actually help?

Grimacing at myself, I put the phone away and leaned back against the tub again. “I get it,” I finally said, grasping at the only thing I could find to say. “It sucks when things change and you aren’t ready for it.”

Darby sighed, and then, to my shock, leaned her head against my shoulder. “I don’t want my dad to know. It’s so embarrassing.”

“If your dad makes a big deal about this, I will go find that raccoon from last week and set it loose in his bedroom while he sleeps,” I promised.

Darby snorted, and then a giggle tumbled out of her. Throwing my arm around her shoulders, I hugged her again, and I wondered if I was doing it for her or for me—for the little girl that I’d once been.

Another deep sigh, and I gave her a squeeze. “I have some tampons and pantyliners in my things, but it can be kind of overwhelming to try a tampon for the first time. So how about I run out and get you some pads. You just stick them to your underwear, and it absorbs everything.”

“Like a diaper?” Horror froze her expression.

“Um. Not really,” I said. “But I guess it’s the same concept. Or we could try some period underwear?”

“This is the worst.”

“Yeah.”

We were silent for a moment, and then I said, “When I come back, we can eat a gallon of ice cream and watch a movie. In the meantime, you can take a nice hot bath.”

Darby’s lips bunched to the side. “I guess that would be okay.”

I swallowed, hesitating, then said, “I’m going to tell your dad what happened. He’s really worried about you, and this will put his mind at ease.”

The teen grimaced. She slapped a hand over her face as her cheeks flushed. “He’s going to be so weird about it.”

I laughed. “Maybe. But your dad loves you. You know that, right?”

She grumbled, nodding.

“I have a special bath bomb you can use,” I said. “How about I go get it for you, you do your thing, and then I’ll run out and get your supplies?”

“Okay,” Darby mumbled. We stood, and then before I could turn to escape out the door, she threw her gangly arms around me and squeezed me tight. “Thank you,” she said against my ear. She was only thirteen, but we were nearly the same height.

I patted her back, sighing. “No problem, Darby. You’re going to be okay. Okay?”

She nodded, sniffling, and gave me a tremulous smile. I ducked out of the bathroom, got a lavender bath bomb, gave it to her, then padded downstairs. Glenn had disappeared.