Page 103 of The Marriage Mistake

If someone asked me to describe my relationship with Ember, I had no idea what I’d say.

“My father went a bit funny after Mom died,” Sofia continued. “He kept talking about me staying at home and taking over the shop. He said it was what Mom had always wanted. Wouldn’t listen to me when I told him it wasn’t what I wanted.” She gave me a sad smile. “I had to get out of here, to get away from all of it. It had nothing to do with you.”

“Oh,” I said, thinking of Darby. She hadn’t played the piano since Ember left, and I’d told her she still had to do the recital. I was no better than Ivan Popov. My eyes felt hot, and the bridge of my nose prickled.

It was this fucking day. Every year, it came around and knocked me sideways.

Sofia cast a glance around Main Street, down to the wedge of dull gray ocean we could see from here, seeming lost in her own thoughts of the past and the present and all the ways they were tangled and messed up. She snorted. “And now I’m back in Marswood Harbor anyway.” Her eyes took on a gleam I remembered from our short relationship. She looked me up and down, a small smile curling the corner of her lips. “But being back isn’t all bad.”

It was the type of invitation I was used to. She obviously had her own baggage and was feeling strange about being back. Usually, I would do anything for a distraction from my spinning thoughts.

We could use each other, and we’d know exactly how much it meant: zero.

Two months ago, I would’ve invited Sofia home and spent the day in bed with her. She was beautiful and willing. It was a no-brainer.

But right now, I couldn’t think of anything worse than sleeping with her.

I smiled. “No, it’s not all bad,” I said. “There’s a new bakery in town. Opened about five years ago.” I nodded down the hill toward Knead More Bread. “You should check it out.”

There was a flash of surprise in her eyes, but she still smiled at me. “Will do, Jack,” she said, and waved me off. No hard feelings between us. In fact, there were no feelings at all.

I got back in my car just in time to feel my phone vibrate in my pocket. I pulled it out and glanced at it as I slipped it into the center console, then did a double take.

My pulse took off. A cold sweat broke out over my skin.

It was an email from a law firm I recognized from the contract Ember and I had signed almost two months ago. The subject line read, “ACTION REQUIRED: NOMINATE BANK ACCOUNT FOR DISBURSEMENT OF FUNDS.”

Another email came through a minute later. This one read, “PETITION FOR DIVORCE FROM EMBER JANE KNIGHTLY.”

My vision blurred, and my hands shook so hard the phone slipped out of my grasp.

There was a crack in my chest, and three weeks’ worth—eleven years’ worth—of emotions spilled out of me. They rocked me, tearing a hole through me so all I could do was grip the steering wheel and squeeze my eyes shut until it passed. A noise slipped through my clenched teeth, a keening, pained, animal sound.

She’d left me. No—I’d chased her away. I’d made her leave, because I’d made her feel worthless and unappreciated. I’d ruined the one good thing that had happened since Tanya died, and I’d done it because I was terrified of losing her.

I’d thought it was easier to choose to be alone than to have Ember leave me.

But I was wrong. It hit me like a truck: Ember was ending things between us.

Somewhere, buried in the block of ice that had encased my heart, I’d been holding onto a thin thread of hope. That she’d choose me, despite how I’d treated her. That she’d love me. That she’d come back.

Something wet dropped onto my jacket, and I realized I was crying and I couldn’t stop. I wiped and wiped and wiped at my cheeks, but the tears kept coming. They blurred my vision and made me dizzy. They hurt. I gasped, struggling to get control over myself again. Reaching for the ice and feeling nothing but a raging inferno of pain.

I’d pushed her away, and now she was snipping the last thread that bound us together. I’d done this. I’d hurt my daughter, myself, and the woman I loved because…

Why?

What was wrong with me?

Tanya wouldn’t want this. She wouldn’t want me to live this half-life in her honor. She wouldn’t want me to deprive Darby of someone to love and care for our daughter in her absence. She would grab me by the shoulders and shake me for being so dense.

I stared ahead, seeing nothing.

What the hell had I done?

I’d lost Tanya. I’d lost Ember. I was losing Darby.

The glove compartment fell open as I yanked the lever. I found enough old fast-food napkins to clean my face, then I doubled back on myself and parked outside the school.