Page 60 of Duty Preserved

“It’s not a thing,” I said, and I made it come out easy. “It can’t be. His team’s nearly finished here. A few more weeks, a month at the most, and then Citadel leaves. Everyone goes back to their lives.”

“You sound pretty certain of this.”

“I’m just trying to be realistic.”

I said it lightly, but to me, it still felt heavy. A month, I could survive. A month, I could be grateful for.

“There’s a bright side, honestly,” I said. “This way, I don’t have to sit around wondering whether I can keep a guy like that. He leaves on a schedule. The question answers itself. I get the good part and skip the part where he works out he can do better than me.”

I meant it as a laugh line.

Alyson did not laugh.

She let go of my arms and stepped back, and the delight drained straight out of her. And what took its place was something I liked a good deal less.

“Say that again,” she said, quiet now.

“Say what?”

“The part where he works out he can do better than you.”

“It was a joke.”

“It was not a joke, and I want you to hear whose voice it was.” Nothing playful was left in her face at all. “That was Gregory. Word for word. That is Gregory Haines, years later, still living rent-free in your head and walking out of your mouth like it’s a thought you had yourself.”

“That’s not⁠—”

“It is. He said that to you. I was there for the wreckage after. And you’ve hauled it around so long you’ve stopped realizing it isn’t true.” She moved back in and took my hand. “It was never true, though. It was a small man saying something ugly to a woman who was miles out of his league so he could feel bigger about leaving her.”

I looked at my best friend. She’d held my hair off my face in a bathroom our second year. She’d driven four hours to sit on my apartment floor the week the Gregory thing finally died. And she was looking at me right now like she’d square up with a ghost if it would do any good.

“You’re right,” I said. “Okay? You’re right. It’s an old tape on a constant loop. I’ll knock it off.”

Her shoulders came down half an inch. She wanted to believe me, so she chose to.

“Good,” she said.

Inside, where she couldn’t reach, I didn’t believe a word of it. Not one. She could name the voice all she wanted. Naming it didn’t make it a liar. Gregory had said it, but no amount of Alyson loving me was going to make me believe it was false.

“Come on.” She tugged me toward the mess tent. “You missed breakfast, and you look like you could use some post-workout calories,” she said with a smile and a wink.

Chapter 16

Donovan

The whole camp was in the mess tent.

It was late afternoon, the canvas sides rolled up to let whatever air was moving come through. Every bench and chair was occupied. The rangers had come straight from afternoon patrol and packed the back rows, still in full kit. Cole sat at the front table with a mug of coffee. Andrew was next to me on the far bench, one ankle crossed over his knee.

Every person on the compound was accounted for. Even Daniel was here, begrudgingly.

Sarah stood at the front with a laminated map spread across the table. Several grease pencil markings had been drawn across the map, indicating routes and checkpoints.

“All right,” she said. “Tomorrow morning, we move the herd. Every year, we do this. The eastern grazing corridor dries out, the water drops, and the forage goes with it. The Ankole need to move west into country that still holds both.” She tapped the map. “That’s a straight line on paper. On the ground, it’s three days, two nights, and thirty kilometers through active wildlife territory.” She traced the grease pencil line with her finger. “We cross known lion corridors here and here, and this northern stretch runs along an established elephant movement path.”

She looked up from the map, making sure everyone understood the magnitude of the task at hand.

“The tactical execution of the operation falls to the ranger team. They know this route, and they’ve run it several times before.” She folded her arms. “The vet team is out there because when you cross paths with a lion pride or a bull elephant, we want animal medical experts on scene to intervene if needed to protect all wildlife involved.”