Page 39 of Crusher

“He cheated,” I remind him, “After I allowed him in, after I spent years being closed off and he pushed his way into my life, he hurt me in the worst possible way, a way I have seen growing up and I’ve lost trust in him.”

Trick shakes his head and asks, “And what about therapy? Why can’t you try that? Why do you have to keep canceling it on him? Lying about Kayden being sick?”

“Because therapy is a lost cause,” I whisper before I kiss his cheek and murmur, “I’ll see you soon,” before I climb into my car.

I don’t look at my son, too ashamed of what he’s just witnessed, and I pull away from the motel.

“I love you, Mama,” Kayden whispers, “I don’t hate you,” and my eyes tear up as he grabs my hand and I squeeze his hand tighter and choke, “I know, baby, I love you too.”

A few tears fall, but I ignore them as Kayden holds my hand tighter and I drive out of town, his whispered, “I wish I got to see daddy before we left,” breaking my heart and making it hard not to sob as doubt creeps in.

This is the right thing to do, right?

Chapter 18

Crusher– Three Days Later

I eye the prospects loading up the Dark Angels’ van with the couple thousands rounds of ammo and a few hundred guns that we just picked up from the Cartel. I refuse to take my eyes off them while trying my hardest not to let my anger spill out. It has been uncontrollable for the past three days, since I got off shift to find Trick waiting for me at the fucking motel.

“What are you doing here?” I ask as I climb off my bike, eyeing my wife and son’s motel room, my back fucking killing me.

I just got off of a twelve-hour shift, spent five of that at a pile-up half an hour out of town, and I really want to see my fucking girl and kid. I don’t have time for whatever Trick needs.

I need to get her to stay.

“They’re gone,” Trick sighs, shocking the shit outta me before I shout, “What the fuck do you mean they are gone?!”

“Kayden is safe to travel, and after I said shit I shouldn’t have said, shit I know for a fact you are going to kick the shit outta me for, she left. Not before her mom had a go at her for whoring herself out to biker scum – her fucking words – and leaving her in the lurch. The bitch smacked her,” Trick grunts, “And who the fuck is her dad? Because brother, I think you are only half the reason why she won't come back here, he is the other half, something about him being a murderer.”

I blink and then blink again because shit, that is a lot to unpack.

I’ve gone from anger, to fury, to confusion, back to fury again.

“What did you say to her?” I decide to start with, and he winces as he rubs the back of his neck, and I narrow my eyes.

What the fuck did he do?

Clearing his throat, he admits, “Basically accused her of keeping your son from you and being petty for still being hurt after so long for what you did.”

Son of a…

“I’m going to kill you,” I say completely calmly, and he takes a step back with a wince and reminds me, “You love me, remember, I’m your family, not by blood but family nonetheless, and I was fucking frustrated, alright? I know it was wrong, believe me. I fucking stopped myself from saying more nasty shit, but she already realized what I was going to say, and honestly, brother, everything you have tried she’s shoved down. I had had enough and just wanted her to snap the fuck out of it, and fuck, I felt completely guilty. Even worse really, considering Kayden told her he hated her when she said they were going home before I snapped so she was already upset and I just wasn’t thinking brother, I’m sorry.”

I slowly close my eyes. My girl lives for our son, I have realized that, so him saying that shit probably destroyed her. Trick sent her over the edge, especially when he knows what I did is something hard for her to forgive, fuck, I doubt Clark would ever forgive him if he did what I did, and he knows this.

“And her mom?” I ask.

“She lost it with her, and she snapped when Alex tried to walk away from her. I threatened her, shoved her against the wall, but you know your girl, she’s all fucking heart. She told her mom to get it together and to get rid of her father, and then they may be able to talk. I saw the look in Alex’s eyes, she was basically saying goodbye to her mom. She doesn’t think she’ll kick her dad to the curb.”

“You do a check on my wife?” I confirm, and he nods.

“Her father isn’t listed,” he sneers, before he admits, “she’s also taking an accounting class, basically bankrupting herself for a career she has no interest in. Math was always her weak point, and she's up to her eyeballs in debt.”

I take a deep breath before looking at the motel to control my anger, then looking back at him.

“I’m on the next run, and we’re meeting Blade right outside of Rose Hill, so I won’t be coming back. I need to see Alexiana, we need to talk because I’m not doing this shit anymore. I want my wife back, even if it means doing what Cage suggested in church. Send me the details on the debt, I’ll pay them off and drop that fucking accounting class. She was meant to be skating and skating she will be doing. Cage mentioned Drew’s idea about Alexiana teaching, and I think it is fucking perfect,” I walk over to my bike and say, “Meet me in the ring tomorrow!”

Trick groans, but I ignore him as I start my bike up and clench my jaw.